Monthly Archives: July 2021

What is God telling you to do?

July 22, 2021CHRISTIAN VALUES, CURRENT EVENTTS, HARD TIMES, HOPE, TRUSTING GODFreda Farmer

This title sounds arrogant, I know, but I pray you keep reading. Although not a “famous” Bible teacher or speaker, I have followed Jesus whole-heartedly for 41 years. I do know when Holy Spirit moves on my heart, and He did just that about writing this message.

What is this message about? For more than two years I have listened to what God is saying through modern-day prophets. If you do not believe in modern-day prophets, please keep reading. This pamphlet summarizes some of what God is currently saying through His prophets and some essential facts about our present world that God has revealed. However, you likely have not heard these things if you have been listening to mainstream media.

Please, even if you do not keep reading, work hard on drawing closer to God and hearing Him better – NOW.

Table of Contents

Why listen to prophets?
What are prophets saying right now?
What mainstream media is not telling you and why.
Who to listen to for the truth and how to catch up fast.
What you need to be doing for God – NOW!
Do you think prophets, miracles, speaking in tongues, etc. are not for today?
Be encouraged!

[1] Why listen to prophets? Below are two simple reasons to listen to God’s modern-day prophets.

[A] God warns of coming judgement so people may change their behavior and avoid judgement. Amos 3:7 in the Amplified Bible says “Surely the Lord God does nothing ^[^a^]Without revealing His secret plan [of the judgment to come] To His servants the prophets.” The footnote for that verse explains: “God has always warned of coming judgment in order that people may choose to change their behavior and avoid it. (emphasis added). He warned Noah of the coming flood (Gen 6:13ff); Abraham and Lot of the future destruction of Sodom (Gen 18:17; 19:14); Joseph of the seven-year famine (Gen 41:30); Moses of the ten plagues on Egypt (Ex 7:1ff); and Jonah of the destruction of Nineveh (Jon 1:2; 3:4). . . Various prophets were told in advance about the captivities of the chosen people, and they came to pass because the warnings were disregarded. . . Jonah announced the destruction of Nineveh, but judgment was postponed following repentance. . . “

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He is still merciful, kind, loving, and gracious. He still warns of coming judgement so we can change and avoid that judgement.

[B] Believing in God’s prophets brings success. 2 Chronicles 2:20 says:

²⁰Early the next morning the army of Judah went out into the wilderness of Tekoa. On the way Jehoshaphat stopped and said, “Listen to me, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed.” (NLT) (Emphasis added)

Image result for Free Clip Art Have Faith in god. Size: 150 x 110. Source: quotesgram.com 2 Chronicles 2:20 in the NIV says “Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.” 2 Chronicles 2 tells about a time when God’s people had good reason to be discouraged: they faced a vast army. God told them not to be afraid because the battle was His, and the next day He told, Jehoshaphat to encourage the people by telling them to have faith in God and to believe His prophets. Then Jehoshaphat ordered singers to go before the Israelites and praise God. And that was when God caused the enemy to destroy each other. The Israelites were victorious, and all they did was praise and sing to the Lord.

Even so today, without hope for a good future we get discouraged and stop pressing hard after God. Today, just as in Bible times, having faith in God and believing His prophets encourages us and gives us the strength to keep following God rather than standing still or retreating in fear and discouragement.

An essential point about God’s ways, His timing, and so-called false prophets. You may have heard some prophets labelled “false” because they predicted President Donald J. Trump would serve two terms and SO FAR that has not happened. Beloved, consider this: some things that prophets in the Bible foretold STILL have not happened. That does not mean prophets in the Bible were false prophets. Rather, it just shows that God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). As 2 Peter 3:8 reminds us, “. . . do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” (NIV) Also, remember that God—not us—has set “a time for everything.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV).

[2] What are God’s prophets saying right now? This is just a short list.

NOW is the time to focus on your personal relationship with God.
Our real President, President Donald J. Trump, will be reseated and will serve two terms. He is God’s instrument for this time in history.
The greatest awakening and revival there has ever been is starting. Holy Spirit will be poured out on people with such power that they will fall to their knees and cry out for God right where they are—–in parks, schools, businesses, and without sermons or messages.
Churches that have not welcomed the presence of God will not be part of this awakening.
Many spiritual leaders in high positions will be revealed as enemies of God and will be removed from their positions and ministries. This has already begun.
Evil will be exposed and judged world-wide, greater than you can imagine. God has allowed evil to increase—for a time—so that it would become even more obvious and more people would open their eyes and see their need for Him.
No more fence-sitting. Jesus clearly said in Luke 11:23: “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. (NIV). The Message translation says “This is war, and there is no neutral ground. If you’re not on my side, you’re the enemy; if you’re not helping, you’re making things worse.” If you support those who approve murdering babies, like Biden, you are opposing God. And if you fail to support those who are trying to stop abortion, you are the enemy, according to Luke 11:23. What else does your failure to “gather with” God allow? All manner of evil that the left and globalists approve of and promote, like homosexuality, pedophelia, human sex trafficking, drugs, violence and the list goes on.
Do you think they are not involved in these things? Would they tell you if they were, or would they hide it and call what is evil good and what is good evil (Isaiah 5:20)? Who do you think motivates them to say that we are being hateful if we do not accept homosexuality? Satan himself. Who and what helps them conceal their sins? Satan, our silence and our failure to act for God. What happened to those who failed to stop Hitler from taking Jews to concentration camps? Think about it.
Joshua 24:15 says you must choose whether you will serve God or the enemy. For too many years God’s church has overlooked and accepted sin and tried to remain neutral. There is no neutral ground. You are either with Him or against Him.

[3] What mainstream media is not telling you. A handful of incredibly wealthy people are working to shrink the population of the world so they can have it all for themselves. This is the deep state Marxist group that controls nations and political leaders, that is using the coronavirus for their evil purposes, and that tried to steal the 2020 election—which is NOT over yet! They gave “free” vaccines to African countries and those vaccines made the recipients sterile. These same ones have held back cures for the coronavirus while millions died.

Yes, covid is real and people have died from it, but why did nobody die of the regular flu since covid began? Why were cures held back? Why were churches considered non-essential during the lock-down when venues with far more contact were left alone?
Why did they say covid was spread by contact and then change their minds and say only masks worked? This covid and mask farce is a trial run, to see how much government control people will tolerate. The ultimate goal is socialist communism which always destroys nations. Consider the millions who died under Stalin and Hitler and other communist regimes.
These wealthy globalists control mainstream media, they seek to destroy all who oppose them, and they de-platform and cancel those who speak out. Is that not communism?
They seek to destroy America through the hatred and lies of BLM, Antifa, critical race theory, the LGBT agenda and more. Do you know the truth about these?
Why did they do nothing to stop the violence in the summer of 2020 and then give federal money in 2021 to mayors who had defunded their own police? Why did mainstream media fail to condemn the violence of 2020 but spread the lie that President Donald John Trump and his supporters instigated the takeover of the Capitol? Why did mainstream media not report that Capitol police were sent home before the “riot” began? Why did they not show video of Capitol police removing barricades, opening doors, and ushering people into the Capitol?
Thousands of illegal aliens, drug and human traffickers and other criminals are being allowed into our country since President Trump’s immigration policies were changed and the wall he had nearly completed along our southern border was not finished. Mainstream media fails to report this.
These are but a few of the many things the left and the media are actively covering up while manufacturing lies about anyone who dares oppose the evil going on in the world. Recently, Biden accused Facebook of killing people because Facebook did not censor comments about covid that the White House considers “misinformation.” The White House is urging social media platforms to censor those with opposing views.
The two people sitting in the White House and many other leaders are puppets of the deep state and will soon be removed from office and President Donald J. Trump will be restored to the seat for which he was elected in 2020.

I have learned all this and much more by listening to God’s prophets. They have been telling truth about things like the fraudulent election and covid long before mainstream media, which only in recent weeks has begun reporting a tiny bit of truth.

[4] Who to listen to for the truth and how to catch up fast: First, stop listening to all mainstream media. Get your news from sources like these listed below.

Daily: govictory/govictorynews.
- 30 minute newscast, Monday-Friday.
Daily: givehim15.com.
- 15 minute call to prayer about current issues
Tuesday and Thursday: https://flashpoint.govictory.com
- 60 minute program with prophets, as well as political, business, government, and church leaders

JUST FOLLOWING THESE THREE SOURCES WILL HELP YOU CATCH UP FAST. I recommend following them regularly, and following those on the list below whenever you can.

Intercessors for America – An on-line community of believers interceding for our nation. If you sign up, you will receive brief summaries of current events and the chance to agree with others in prayer.
Elijah list – elijahlist.com Daily strengthening, encouragement, and comfort through prophetic words, messages, and prophecies.
Elijah streams – elijahstreams.com – Sixty-minute program with in-depth interviews with prophets, with prophetic words and teachings.
Praying citizen – prayingcitizen.com –current events, from a godly perspective, why they matter and how to pray.
Other conservative news sources like Epoch Times.
Listening to a radio station that plays worship music will do much to lift your spirits Try air1.com.

Prophets to listen to: You will find most of these prophets on the platforms listed above but they also have their own websites and/or churches. You can follow them on You Tube, Facebook, etc. as well.

Dutch Sheets – www.dutchsheets.org
Hank Kunneman -www.lohchurch.org
Kent Christmas -www.kentchristmas.org and www.regenerationnashville.org
Mario Murillo – www.mariomurillo.org
Johnny Enlow – restore7.com and often on Elijah Streams
Lance Wallnau – lancewallnau.com
Tim Sheets – timsheets.org
Amanda Grace – often on Elijah Streams

[5] What to do for God NOW.

[1] Image result for free picture of praying person First, focus on growing closer to Him and hearing Him better as your number one priority

[2] Stop listening to mainstream media and start listening to media who present the news from God’s perspective, the sources listed in Section 5 “Who to follow and how to catch up fast”.

[3] Pray specifically for what you learn as you start listening to the prophets and media that give God’s perspective.

[4] Join in on a prayer call. Intercessors for America is a good place to start.

[5] Get involved. Ask God what to do and He will show you. You can start by sharing with others what you learn once you start listening to godly media and the prophets. God may be calling you to run for political office or support a godly candidate who is. I am writing this pamphlet in response to Holy Spirit’s prompting. This is one thing God has shown me to do.

[6] Image result for Free picture Of Phone. Size: 127 x 88. Source: www.theverge.com Call your senators and representatives and state your support for godly issues and your opposition against evil. When they make good decisions or statements, call and thank them. They do pay attention to their constituents. We have the power to vote them in again or vote them out.

[6] If you think prophets, miracles, speaking in tongues, etc. are not for today. . . Space does not permit a Biblical exposition showing that the whole gospel is for today, so please just listen to what I have personally experienced. Although I did not know Jesus until age 29, I grew up in a Southern Baptist church and knew nothing of the gifts of the Spirit and Pentecostal ways except that the “weird” church in town did “weird” things like raising their hands in worship and falling on the floor. A few months after salvation, I began speaking and praying in tongues and have not stopped for 41 years. It strengthens my spirit, assures me I am praying according to God’s will when I do not know what to pray, and brings peace.

As for other aspects of Pentecost, I have been healed, have been “slain in the spirit” (when you simply fall on the floor because the presence of God is so overwhelming), had someone fall on the floor when I was praying for her, have heard countless messages of encouragement through words of prophecy given during church services, and have given encouraging words myself, and have consistently felt the near tangible presence of God during Pentecostal worship and praise.

I could go on but I will just say please give God a chance and see a Pentecostal service. The Lord of Hosts church pastored by Hank Kunneman; Regeneration Nashville, pastored by Kent Christmas; and Oasis Church in Middletown, Ohio, pastored by Tim Sheets, are superb places to start. You have so much to gain and nothing to lose!

[7] Be encouraged! God IS doing mighty things! But unless you have been listening to God’s prophets you likely have become discouraged and possibly even thought things were out of God’s control. Beloved, our God reigns. Period. Nothing has EVER taken Him by surprise, He makes no mistakes, and He cannot lie. God has already started radically changing this world, and you must get ready NOW if you want to be part of this greatest awakening ever.

See the source image

Woo hoo and go God! Go Body of Christ! We have the victory! “This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith” (I John 5:4, NIV) HOOAH!

Note: This message will soon be available as a pamphlet on the Books and More page of this website so you can print it and share it. Or, if you are mad, you can have the satisfaction of ripping it up. Regardless, thank you for listening and please: focus on drawing closer to God – now! Grace to you and may God speed!

Freda Farmer
www.wordsofhopeandhealing.com

Am I consistently joyful in my walk? Part Two of Two

July 15, 2021Bible teaching, DAILY LIFE, PrayerFreda Farmer

Image result for free picture of walking with jesus Last week as we considered how to consistently “maintain a joyful Christian walk”, an investigation sparked by Andrew Murray’s jewel “The Ministry of Intercessory Prayer”, we covered points one through 9 in the outline below. This week we will finish with points 10 through 15. I pray these words help you draw closer to the One who loves us so, so, so very much.

Practicing His presence.
“As you do not know the path of the wind. . . “(Ecclesiastes 11:5)
The message of the hummingbird.
Drawing nearer to God includes pulling away from the world and self.
Steps to wholeness of healing, which is this joy of depending only on Him.
STEP ONE:
“But I am already living a holy life”, my flesh says.
More pruning produces more fruit.
Too straight and too hard?
Are You my vital necessity, Lord?
Am I (still not yet) a slave to righteousness which leads to holiness?
STEP TWO
STEP THREE
ONE LAST “STEP”
I know You will guide me, Lord.

[9] Are You my vital necessity, Lord? Jeremiah 29 is a letter God wrote through Jeremiah to the captives exiled to Babylon from Jerusalem because of their wickedness and unrepentant idol worship. In the first nine verses, God told the captive Israelites to settle down and work for the good of the place they lived (Babylon) because “its welfare will determine your welfare.” (V. 7b, NLT). God told them they would stay in Babylon 70 years, which was until their punishment was completed. (Notice how God is taking care of them, even while they are being punished, by telling them how to have a better life.) In verse 10, God promises that after 70 years He would return them to Jerusalem and “do for you all the good things I have promised.” (v. 10b).

And then comes the well-known verse, Jeremiah 29:11:

¹¹For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. (NIV)

Let’s look closely at verses 12 through 14.

¹²Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you.

¹³Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. (emphasis added)

¹⁴I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will release you from captivity and gather you from all the nations and all the places to which I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I caused you to be carried away captive.”

Image result for free clip art of the plans i have for you God reassures His rebellious people that He has good plans for them, and that their final outcome will be one where they love Him whole-heartedly and find Him as well as enjoy freedom again. I think God gave them this encouragement because He knew it would take some of them the whole 70 years to seek Him whole-heartedly. Verses 12-14 concern the “then” time or “in those days,” meaning when the captives are returned to Jerusalem. God says “in those days” His people will pray and He will hear, and when they seek Him as their VITAL necessity and seek Him with ALL their heart, they will find Him and He will bring them back to Jerusalem.

Perhaps the lesson for me, regarding spiritual growth, is that when my life includes putting other things before God—which is idol worship—I will get my consequences, as the Israelite captives did. And I will live with my consequences until God’s righteous judgement on my sin of putting things above Him is completed. And then, after I have learned my lesson through the harsh, but righteous circumstances of my sin, I will then be free FINALLY to seek God, inquire for God, and require God [as a vital necessity] and search for Him with my WHOLE heart. And then—when I truly have no other gods before Him—then is when I will find God and He will return me to my own Jerusalem, my own fortified city where God dwells and truly reigns, my own life where I have the light of peace in my heart.

I believe this process of sin-captivity-judgement-restoration applies to any scale of time, from our ‘little” failures that take us away from God part of the day to on-going, unrecognized and/or unconfessed sin that steals our closeness and our peace for many months or years.

[10] Am I (still not yet) a slave to righteousness which leads to holiness? (Romans 6:19-23) God makes it clear that “when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? (Romans 6:16, NIV). So as long as we serve and obey our own flesh or the enemy, we are enslaved by our flesh or the enemy. The consequences of our voluntary enslavement is that the enemy takes us “captive to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:16, NIV), and we are unable to “maintain a joyful Christian walk in God’s way”, which is a symptom of the diseased condition of our heart. I have to ask myself, “Is my heart still not totally submitted to obedience to God?” Am I carried away to Babylon sometimes, made captive and my will controlled by the cruel enemy, because I still sometimes “offer myself’ to sin?

Perhaps we weak humans simply do not truly learn what seeking God whole-heartedly and with our whole heart is, i.e., as if our life depends on it, until we are in desperate circumstances.

First by force, then by choice? This is why I say God blessed me with depression–it forced me to keep my mind on Him and His Word constantly. My case is not as extreme but it reminds me of the book “Shadowlands.” When his new wife had cancer, C. S. Lewis was so driven to constant prayer that he said prayer was all he could do and that he had to pray to survive.

Image result for Baby Leaning On Jesus Perhaps, after circumstances force us to lean constantly on God, the next quality of character to be developed is to choose this constant leaning, even when we feel we can manage “without thinking about God while we visit with family, spend an afternoon at a museum, etc. I ask myself, “Freda, is that not self-confidence and self-sufficiency?” This voluntary constant leaning Andrew Murray speaks of costs “self-will, self-pleasure and self-confidence.” I do have to give up all of self if I am to give all my heart to God.

Although I have lately been spending more time in prayer and Bible study and meditating more consistently during waking hours, trying to grow closer, I sense that asking God to “heal me” in this way is a definite, concrete step, much like the very first time you tithe and must trust that God will meet your needs that month though it looks impossible if you give Him ten percent.

I am certain God will help me in this. As He promises in Romans 6, if I offer myself continually to Him to obey Him, I will be a “slave to righteousness”, which means I will be under the control of righteousness.

16 Do you not know that if you continually surrender yourselves to anyone to do his will, you are the slaves of him whom you obey, whether that be to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience which leads to righteousness (right doing and right standing with God

¹⁷But thank God, though you were once slaves of sin, you have become obedient with all your heart to the standard of teaching in which you were instructed and to which you were committed.

¹⁸And having been set free from sin, you have become the servants of righteousness (of conformity to the divine will in thought, purpose, and action). (Romans 6:16-18, AMPC)

[11] STEP TWO: The second step is to “look to Him as your only help.” (p. 84) We must say, like the lame man at Bethesda “I have no one to put me into the pool” (John 5:7). We must know that there is no help for us here on earth. We must confess our weakness and “know there is no hope for you unless Christ in His mercy heals you.” I think that is something else I must say to the Lord and keep on saying. I do understand that every good thing comes from Him, as James 1 says, and that even our desire to please Him, comes from Him working in us as Philippians 2:13 tells us.

[12] STEP THREE: The third step is to respond in faith. As the lame man at Bethesda believed Jesus and obeyed and walked, so too must we believe that there is “truth and power in Christ’s word.” (p. 85) “If we fix our gaze on Christ. . . we will have courage to obey.” (p. 85) Yes, I must believe that even I, with all my weaknesses, I can walk in the way God intended. I can exercise my faith which is “. . . being sure of what we hope for and sure of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1, NIV) and I can, like Abraham, believe “. . . in the God who brings the dead back to life and Who creates new things out of nothing.” (Romans 4:17, NLT)

[13] ONE LAST “STEP”. Andrew Murray then wisely warns about forming false expectations, to not, for example, expect “to be all at once be proficient in prayer or any part of the Christian life.” He concludes the chapter by saying that, like learning anything, we must start at the beginning, but we must start. I will heed this warning because, as a perfectionist in some areas, I can expect too much of myself and get discouraged. I will take the attitude of James 5:7 and be patient as God works in my heart. I can wait “. . . for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains.” (NIV)

[14] I know You will guide me, Lord. Thank You, Lord, for the grace I feel to yield and not struggle with the idea of this greater pruning of self. But I do need Your clear guidance, Lord. I will meditate on and pray Psalm 25 with greater intensity, and I will declare it.

You know, Lord, in this matter of living my whole life for You, in the past I have been too zealous in some ways, like staying up too late reading the Word, sitting at the desk too long when I need to go exercise, or depriving myself of so many pleasures that I became resentful and frustrated with the lifestyle I created for myself in trying to put You first.

I know I need adequate rest and exercise and time with family and friends. And I have learned it is essential to invest at least a bit of time regularly in keeping my home and surroundings tidy. But, Father, what about “leisure time”? Lord, I do not want to spend too much time on that but neither do I want to become unbalanced and eventually frustrate myself and cause discouragement.

Image result for free picture of praying hands I paused, but only a moment before a clear thought came. “I can spend time praying in the Spirit for direction about this.” I have learned recently (although I think I knew it in years earlier and ‘forgot’ it) that when I faithfully set aside time each day to pray in tongues about something specific, He answers clearly.

“Yes! Lord! I know You will answer!”

And, another thought came then, one I was not so excited about.

“Lord, is the healthier diet You recently led me to part of all of this? I have fallen away from it lately. Is this part of the things that seem “too hard and too straight”? Well, I will include prayer and prayer in tongues about that, too. As Paul said in I Corinthians 14:15, “I will pray in the spirit, and I will also pray in words I understand. I will sing in the spirit, and I will also sing in words I understand.” (NIV)

“Father, You know this will be a new and exciting adventure. Thank You for leading me to that book through my friend. Something has not seemed quite right between us for a while, and I think it is what I have heard some Bible teachers and preachers say, that You sometimes pull away so that we will press on further and follow You into new places.

Dearest Father, with the psalmist in Psalm 27:4, I say:

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and [insistently] require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty [the sweet attractiveness and the delightful loveliness] of the Lord and to meditate, consider, and inquire in His temple.

Yes, Lord! Keep me close while I grow!

Note: For more about “Standing Strong Like the Hummingbird,”—see the May 9, 2020, blog post. May our loving Father grant both of us grace to stand strong and to move forward with Him in our personal growth. Amen and so be it, Lord Jesus!

Image result for Walking with Jesus Quotes

Am I consistently joyful in my walk? Part One of Two

July 8, 2021Bible teaching, DAILY LIFE, Prayer, TRUSTING GODFreda Farmer

Image result for Free Picture of Walking with Jesus. Size: 124 x 100. Source: www.fanpop.com This week we will cover Parts One through Nine of the points listed below as we consider how to consistently “maintain a joyful Christian walk”, an investigation sparked by Andrew Murray’s jewel of a book “The Ministry of Intercessory Prayer.” Let us commit this study to God and ask for His wisdom. Let us ask with faith, knowing He will give it, for we know He is good and only good and that He delights in giving good things to His children (James 1:5-8, Luke 11:11-13). I pray that pondering Andrew Murray’s teaching convicts, comforts, and spurs you on to greater commitment to our loving Father, as it did me. May your deepening commitment enable you to feel His loving embrace ever more clearly in your daily walk. Here are the headings of this two-part series.

Practicing His presence.
“As you do not know the path of the wind. . . “(Ecclesiastes 11:5)
The message of the hummingbird.
Drawing nearer to God includes pulling away from the world and self.
Steps to wholeness of healing, which is this joy of depending only on Him.
STEP ONE
“But I am already living a holy life”, my flesh says.
More pruning produces more fruit.
Too straight and too hard?
Are You my vital necessity, Lord?
Am I (still not yet) a slave to righteousness which leads to holiness?
STEP TWO
STEP THREE
ONE LAST “STEP”
I know You will guide me, Lord.

[1] Practicing His presence. “Father, I love this new habit You led me to, this just sitting with You a while before starting morning devotions. Thank You for guiding me.” I sipped the chamomile fast, so it would help with breathing, and gently moved the rocker, peering into soft morning light, grateful three-story units to the east blocked the direct morning sun. The window framed soft green, intertwined crape myrtle branches in shadow, like a private, secluded forest.

[2] “As you do not know the path of the wind. . . “(Ecclesiastes 11:5) The morning Texas wind shoved larger branches to the right, pinning them there, while slender stems at the ends traced quavering circles in the air. As abruptly as it had begun, the wind stopped. Branches snapped back and stood straight, stretching leafy arms toward their Creator.

“Yes, Lord, I remember when I learned that verse, “As you do not know the path of the wind or how the body is formed in the wind, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” (Ecclesiastes 11:5, NIV). It was more than thirty years ago, when Sharon was in elementary school and I was a new believer. I was walking from the bus stop to the office on a cold, gusty February morning, holding an index card as I walked, memorizing the Word. I remember the wind blasted my coat open at that very moment, reminding me that You were with me. That one touch of Your love warmed me the whole day. Hmm. So sweet, so sweet. . . Thank You, dear Father. Memories of Your Word speaking to me are truly are “sweeter than honey”, as You say in Psalm 119.

Lord, I could not then and I cannot now know which way the wind will turn, and I do not understand Your work or Your ways, but I do love Psalm 25, how the whole psalm is a plea for You to teach the psalmist Your ways and show him how to live. I especially like that short verse, verse 25, “Show me Your ways, Lord; teach me Your paths.” (AMPC). I am glad it is taking so long to memorize. That’s making me think deeply about each phrase.

[3] The message of the hummingbird. “Oooh!” I breathed as I saw a hummingbird hover beside the fuschia flowers of the crape myrtle ten yards from my second-floor window.

“I have never seen one this high up. Thank You Lord!” Before the hummingbird darted away, another treasured memory drifted into thought.

“I remember how, when depression was at its worst, You gave the person praying with me visions of hummingbirds and a rhema word that I must feed on the nectar of Your Word as a hummingbird feeds on flower nectar. That so much confirmed how You had led me to meditate constantly, day and night, on Your Word. And that constant meditation healed the depression and fear and has kept me free.

“Yes,” I thought, “that is part of drawing closer, when God lets events force us to return our mind to Him as often as hummingbirds return for nectar. That pulling away from anything else but dependence on Him must be an essential part of drawing nearer.”

[4] Drawing nearer to God includes pulling away from the world and self. I have been pondering a chapter in Andrew Murray’s sterling book “The Ministry of Intercessory Prayer.” He says “Your inability to maintain a joyful Christian walk in God’s way is a sign of disease.” (p. 84). That sentence grabbed my attention. By grace alone, I maintain joy and victory more consistently now than before, but not always.

I have learned to fight my way back to emotional balance and joy, rather than just avoiding depression. But Andrew Murray’s book explains my “remaining disease of self” is the cause of emotional imbalance and negative emotions that still happen sometimes. Andrew Murray talks about this disease of the self that is so hard to be free from. The chapter “Will You Be Made Whole?” outlines God’s way for healing us of self so we can walk as He intends, with consistent joy and “heavenly power beyond anything we could dare to imagine or hope for.” (p. 81).

Image result for free picture of doctor and patient Murray notes that a doctor heals by making the patient independent of the doctor. Our Great Physician’s aim is to heal by bringing “. . . us into such dependence upon himself that we will not be able to live a moment without Him.” (p. 82). We live frail Christian lives because we do not appropriate Divine truth for our own selves.

“As long as we expect Christ to continually do something for us in single acts of grace, trusting Him from time to time to give us only that which will last a little while, we cannot be restored to perfect health. But when we grasp the fact that we need Him moment by moment in our lives in utter dependence upon His strength and provision, then the life of Christ becomes the health of our soul.” (p. 82)

[5] Steps to wholeness of healing, which is this joy of depending only on Him. Murray outlines three steps to being made whole: telling God we want to be made whole, looking to Him as our only help, and responding in faith.

[6] STEP ONE: To achieve this condition where “the life of Christ becomes the health of our soul”, Murray explains, Christ first asks us, as He did the man at Bethesda (John 5:2-9), “Do you want to get well?” And we must tell Him we want to be made well. Some will not admit we are sick and others will not believe Christ can make us fully whole.

“At the root of it all [this not admitting our sickness and our unbelief] is the fear of self-denial and the sacrifice that will be required. People are not willing to entirely give up self-will, self-confidence, and self-pleasing (emphasis added). The walk in Christ that makes us like Christ is too straight and too hard (emphasis added). They do not want to be made whole. . . . If you are willing to be made whole, you must confess clearly, “Lord, at any price, I will!” (p. 84)

[7] But I am already living a holy life”, my flesh says. Each round of trials-wobbling-rebalancing these many months has shaken off more self-confidence, more of the flesh, and more of the world. My walk has become more narrow regarding what I do, read and listen to. I also am better now at forgiving and forgetting because they now feel like the poison they are (whereas for years before they stayed buried, unaware, deep in my heart). This narrowing of our daily life is part of the pruning Jesus describes in John 15:2. “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. (NIV)” Andrew Murray explains that of all fruit-bearing vines, the grapevine most needs pruning. Pruning cuts away not only dead branches but good, fruit-bearing branches because those branches use sap, and more sap must be channeled into producing fruit, rather than merely sustaining branches.

[8] More pruning produces more fruit. And now? Now I think God is calling me to sacrifice some good things in favor of better things, lovingly pruning good wood so that more of my life’s energy will, like sap, will go into producing fruit for the kingdom. I believe that includes more prayer and Bible study and more time invested in others rather than self-indulgences, self-pleasures or self-will.

[9] Too straight and too hard? I am thinking deeply about Andrew Murray’s observation that entirely giving up our “walk after the course of this world” can seem “too straight and too hard because it includes giving up “self-will, self-confidence, and self-pleasing.” Suppose, for example, we forego R-rated movies because God shows us those are no longer acceptable. Suppose our path then narrows to only movies with no violence or obscenities. Would our path to greater closeness seem “too straight and too hard” if it means many evenings of foregoing all “entertainment” so as to make more time for Bible study and prayer or acts of service or a higher quality of family evenings?

More than four years ago, when God first showed me it was necessary to keep my mind on the Word all day, I recall thinking “I can’t live like Joyce Meyer and other Bible teachers say they do. I can’t think about the Word ALL day.” At that point, I do not think I wanted to either, although I thought I loved God with all my heart back then. Perhaps I did to the fullest extent I could, BUT He was not yet my “vital necessity,” not until desperation forced me to meditate constantly, just like I had heard.

Is God showing me that He is still not truly my vital necessity, that I still depend on and/or love my own self and worldly things more than Him? Part Two explores this question.