I didn’t feel like being grateful. My right foot began to throb as I depressed the brake, waiting at the light. I ran my thumbs over the smooth curve of the steering wheel, impatient.
“I am so tired of all these physical problems!” I moaned to myself. “Is part of the foot pain coming from the low back, like that one doctor said? Or is it something else? And if it is, how am I supposed to pay for the decompression treatments he said would likely help?”
The gray, overcast day reflected my mood. For days, impenetrable murk had hidden the shape of God’s vault of blue heaven above. Instead of feeling lifted up and free upon stepping outside, oppressive gray clouds weighed heavily on the mind, closing you in, stealing the chance for an upward, hope-giving glance at that inverted bowl of blue and the majestic mountains of white clouds.
Across the intersection, I saw a gray-haired man in a wheelchair, also waiting for the light. Time flashed back thirty years, to one of those moments that, when you experience it, you know you will always remember.
Thirty years ago I had been driving home from my secretarial job where I sat outside the door of a sarcastic, mean, and hyper-critical boss. I was feeling sorry for myself, dreading sitting down with the bills when I got home where I would have to stretch my single-parent income beyond belief, and angry that my daughter, at age 15, worked at McDonald’s so she could have extras like magazines, make-up to experiment with and an occasional movie. There, bumping along on the side of the road, in the uneven dirt, was a young man in a wheelchair. There were no feet propped on the footplates of the wheelchair.
Instantly a saying from Al-Anon days came to mind. “I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” That day, through tears, I had counted my blessings, literally, all the way home.
Now, as I sat at the light, looking at that old man in the wheelchair, recalling the lesson God had written on my heart so long ago, I knew something was really wrong. I still did not feel like being grateful, even after such a direct message from God.
Why was I floundering? The immediate reason for my sour mood was that I was returning from the gym, to which I had driven for the swim which aways eases my back. But three minutes in, they closed the pool for chemical rebalancing. The light changed. I resumed my fuming.
“I have to exercise more than anyone else I know and I still have so many physical problems. That is not fair!”
As I pulled into the parking lot, light finally penetrated my darkness.
“Lord, You promise to work good out of everything so I am going to see what lessons You have for me in this experience. I am going to get good out of this. Please help me get my attitude right, Lord! I am sorry but I am really mad about everything!”
I inhaled deeply as I walked toward the stairs, enjoying the smell of the drizzle that was starting and the slight chill in the air that gets pleasantly into your bones, so refreshing after months of sticky heat. As I unlocked the door, insights flooded in. I was reminded of the series of blog posts I had just finished on Isaiah 30, which teaches that all the time we have turned away from God He is eagerly waiting, looking and longing to be gracious to us (Isaiah 30:18) and that He fights our enemies for us when we return to resting and depending on Him.
Like a pouting little child stamping her foot, I had, finally, looked up at my Heavenly Father and raised my arms to Him. And, like the father of the prodigal who was eagerly watching for his son to return, God ran.
The blessings of insights from God. How blessed we are that God invites us to talk things over with Him. In Isaiah 1:18 He says:
“Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool. (AMPC.)” And James 4:8-11 tells us “Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up. (NIV)
Prayerfully I reviewed what had gotten me into such a vile state of “unworthy and unwarranted suspicions regarding God’s faithfulness.” (Jeremiah 15:19, AMPC). For days, I had tried to be grateful, to just talk with Jesus about the problems, ignore those fickle old feelings and just move forward. For days I had been unable to feel His presence and His peace. So, despite strong effort, worry, fear, anger and resentment settled into my heart.
Oh, those foxes, those little foxes! [My heart was touched and I fervently sang to Him my desire] Take for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards [of our love], for our vineyards are in blossom.” (Solomon 2:15, AMPC). When I look back now, now that I have, by grace, regained peace, the problems that made me stumble seem so little. I am sure you could write a similar list. Mine was ongoing and worsening back problems; no funds to cover the treatment that might help; ongoing and worsening foot problems related to that; the need for minor foot surgery in two weeks, surgery that would further complicate all the back problems when I could not exercise for a while afterwards; having to wait three weeks for insurance to cover new eyeglasses; worsening eye pain and strain each day, not knowing if that was caused by the need for new glasses or cataracts or dry eye, the expensive remedy for which insurance also did not cover.
It seemed that everything I use each day, to just live and to write, which is a great joy, was falling apart. Another contributing factor to self-pity and irritability was the lingering week-long cold.
“Why couldn’t I be grateful for all God had done?” I asked myself as I reviewed the blessings God had showered on me this week: stopping the blood thinner, which had caused much fatigue for an entire year; getting me unstuck after weeks of struggling with a hard chapter in the next book; and showing how to modify some daily activities so as to help with feet and back issues.
Besides all of that, there were the huge, huge blessings that are a part of daily life: salvation, a close relationship with Him, some of my family being saved and faith to believe for the others; living close to family; living in America; money for all my needs and many of my wants; deliverance from depression; training in keeping emotions stable; and the knowledge of how to return to God when I sin and/or bad things happen.
God’s deliverance. So, here is what I told myself to do.
[1] Ask God to forgive me for my wrong attitudes and complaining and ingratitude. Two verses I greatly value are: 1 John 1:9, which says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (NIV)” So simple. So necessary. The second is Proverbs 28:13 which teaches us that “Whoever conceals their sin does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” In doing that, we humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand and He will lift us up in due time, as He promises in Peter 5:6-7.
Confessing our sin is doing what James 4:7-10 commands us:
7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
[2] Make up my mind to God thanks for everything I can think of, no matter how I feel, and to praise Him. I Thessalonians 5:18 tells us “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (ESV) Psalm 100:4 tells us to approach God with thanksgiving and praise in our hearts. Consider this quotation from Debbie Przybylski on www.crosswalk.com.
God inhabits our praise. The word “inhabit” or “enthrone” (yashab) means to judge in ambush. When we praise God, He will seat himself right in the middle of our lives and judge the enemies that are surrounding us. The Japanese translation of Psalm 22:3 is: “When you praise God He brings a big chair and sits there.” Think about that! God is seated in the center of your life. The enemy cannot dethrone you because God cannot be overthrown!” https://rb.gy/fz4791
[3] Ask God to impress the lesson of this painful experience deeply on my heart. Psalm 103:18 in the AMPC has a vital lesson for me. Verse 17 says that “. . . from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him. . . “(NIV) The thought continues in verse 18: “to such as keep His covenant—hearing, receiving, loving and obeying it; and to those who [earnestly] remember His commands to do them [imprinting them on their hearts] (emphasis added). To me this verse says that when we earnestly, whole-heartedly, lovingly obey the Lord we imprint, or write, His word on our heart. This is part of the new covenant we now have through Jesus that God explains in the book of Hebrews. In Hebrews 10:16 God says “I will imprint My laws upon their hearts, and I will inscribe them on their minds (on their inmost thoughts and understanding.)” (AMPC)
Taken together, these verses reassure me (and, oh how I need that reassurance!) that as I follow God’s commands God imprints them, like a brand, on my heart and mind. This is part of how He works in my heart to give me godly desires and enables me to live a holy life (Philippians 2:13). He is changing my nature so that I want to love and serve Him even more.
Verse 14 of Psalm 103 is also instructive in this matter. It says that God understands exactly how we are made. “For He knows our frame; He [earnestly] remembers and imprints on His heart] that we are dust.” (AMPC). This says to me that if God imprints on His heart how much we need His compassion, we should imprint what He wants us to do on our hearts. If He loves us so much, how can we not respond appropriately? Selah. See what Holy Spirit tells you about these two verses. And all of Psalm 103.
[4] Thank Him for His loving discipline (Hebrews 12). In times of trial, whether we are partly the cause or not, it is well worth taking time to ponder the truths of Hebrews 12:1-13 and John 15:1-17. God uses hardships to train us, for our good, so that we may share in His holiness (Hebrews 12:10b). He trims or removes from our lives the things that bear no fruit and He also works with the things that do bear fruit so that those things may bear even more fruit (John 15). Clearly, some of my branches needed to be cut off and thrown away. However, God was lovingly working with my heart so that the faith, hope, trust, and self-control I had would increase.
Two thoughts to keep in mind. So dear friend and fellow oh so human human being, here are two thoughts that I pray will ease your heart as they do mine.
One, God knows exactly how you feel and has deep compassion on your fleshly tendencies whether you are a new believer or 50 years old in the Lord. He included many stories in the Bible about mature saints who yielded to complaints, worries, and fears. And He included how He loved and worked with them every time when they sought Him. Consider the failings of Moses, Elijah, David, and Jonah, just for starters.
And two, God is not mad at you for automatic, instinctive reactions of your flesh. Pinch my arm and my flesh reacts with physical pain. Pinch my circumstances and my flesh reacts with negative emotion. It is a trap of the enemy to feel guilty about such feelings and let them continue, subconsciously feeling we have failed Him and He must be mad at us.
Even when we, being so very human, let wrong thoughts stay in our heart, God is not mad at us any more than a parent is mad with children who react in childish ways. He just longs to lift us up and restore us to His side. Think of how often He forgave the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness and then when they lived in the land He had promised.
When you see a little child stumble and fall and you hear that piercing wail of distress you want to pick up that child, hold him close and tell him everything will be alright. You feel that child’s pain. That is compassion.
How much more does God feel compassion for us when we stumble? In Isaiah 49, God says His love for us, and His consciousness of us, is greater than that of a mother with a tiny infant. In Isaiah 49:16 God says “See I have engraved you on the palm of my hands;” (NIV)
Beloved one, “The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.” (Psalm 145:8, AMPC). To be filled with something is to have no room for anything else. Do a word study on God’s compassion.
No matter what is happening in your life, no matter how your feelings have reacted, humbly present yourself to God. He will lift you up “. . . for He is good; for His mercy and lovingkindness endure forever.” (Psalm 118:1b and 29b, NIV) Every verse in Psalm 136 repeats that statement. Think about why God did that. He did that for you.
God will always raise you up, to make you more than you can be, because He loves you. Ponder that as you listen to “You Raise Me Up”.
The lilies that live in the field,
Throughout the Bible, God’s presence is associated with thunder. Job 40:9 asks “Have you an arm like God? Or can you thunder with a voice like His?” Think of God’s appearances to Israel in the desert. For example, in Exodus 19:16, after Moses had in obedience to God’s instructions consecrated the people, “On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. Everyone in the camp trembled.” Slowly read Psalm 29 for another description of the power of God’s voice.
[31] At the voice of the LORD the Assyrians will be stricken with dismay and terror, when He smites them with His rod. In pondering Exodus 14, which tells how God delivered Israel by parting the Red Sea and then closing it up again to destroy the pursing army of Egypt, I often wondered how wide the pathway through the sea was. No one knows for sure but I believe God made it so that everyone who walked through that path was close enough to see the water, maybe even feel the spray from it, so that they would deeply experience the awe and wonder of what God was doing for them.
Celebrating with loved ones is particularly meaningful, leaving lingering, pleasant memories. I can still smell the rich aroma of the coffeehouse that my daughter and son-in-law took me to when we celebrated my graduation. I can still see their smiling faces looking at me across the tiny table. They took time out of their daily life to celebrate with me.
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.” (AMPC)
Sharing a personal application: Just as Israel turned to Egypt for help, when I was severely depressed a few years ago I turned to worldly methods first, rather than God. I was as rebellious as Israel. For years, God had been telling me through Bible teachers to dig deeper into, to meditate on and to speak His Word all day long, to the point of what many call extremism. For years, teachers and preachers who had overcome great personal problems stirred my spirit. I felt God’s anointing for me on their teaching. And they all stressed depending on God’s Word FIRST. They talked little if any about psychology.
While I was struggling so desperately with depression, unfortunately, my actions said I doubted God’s Word would heal my heart. When I finally did begin studying His Word for healing, at first I still tried to get it second hand by diligently studying the teaching of others. It was only when I sat down alone with God, my Bible and a concordance and began diligent study as well as meditation on God’s truths about fear, peace, and His great love for me personally that healing began.
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This book shows you how to use God’s Word to heal your heart, regardless of your problem, and walk closer to Him. My sincere prayer is that God uses it to speak to you, personally, in the ways only He knows you need. Friend, He really, really loves you!
Early morning thoughts. I took a sip of tea, leaned forward and opened the blinds behind the desk. There, in the yellow halo of light from the blazing security light affixed to the wall, three small gray and brown sparrows perched in the entwining branches of the crepe myrtle trees screening the window of my second floor condo. Two had their heads tucked under their wings, demonstrating all the flexibility usually attributed to those of the feline persuasion. The third miniature beauty was occupied with his morning ablutions, pecking his tiny beak atop, behind and under his uplifted snippet of a wing.
Coping with problems. I had recently started going to bed earlier so that I could get up earlier for the specific purpose of dividing up time spent sitting at the computer, part of ongoing efforts to keep on with the work of writing despite the recent barrage of age-related challenges like eye strain, stiff joints, fatigue, and on and on.
“I am sorry, Lord. Thank You for catching this attempt at fraud. Thank you that they only got one hundred dollars before the fraud protection system stopped it. Help me redeem this time, Lord. Let there be someone at the credit union that I can witness to. Help me have a good attitude.”
I sat back down at my desk and thought about the day and other blessings and protections. I had been up at five to drive someone I love to the hospital for a procedure, where all turned out to be fine, a blessing to that person and to me. On the way home, I had been passed on the interstate by two fire engines and an ambulance, on their way I soon saw as I creeped along in the backed-up traffic, to a bad car accident. Had I not had to wait an hour at the hospital while the check-in snafu got untangled before I left, I might have been in that accident.
27 “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
27 Behold, the Name of the Lord comes from afar, burning with His anger, and in thick, rising smoke. His lips are full of indignation, and His tongue is like a consuming fire.
God used these words, I believe for emphasis, when He spoke through Isaiah in Isaiah 45:18 and said ‘For thus says the Lord—Who created the heavens, God Himself, Who formed the earth and made it, Who established it and did not create it to be a worthless waste; He formed it to be inhabited-I am the Lord, and there is no one else.”
God is furious when His children are hurt. Think how you feel when your loved one is treated cruelly. Multiply that by a million and you have a faint glimmer of understanding. In Psalm 18, earth trembles and mountains shake because God is angry at the enemy. Such is the power of this One who fights for us when we return to Him. Even when you disobey, even when you fail to regard God “as holy and honor His holy name [by regarding Him as your only hope of safety] (Isaiah 8:13a, AMPC), God is filled with wrath – because it is part of His nature. God hates sin and the destruction it brings whether His children are being attacked because of what we did or whether we are innocent of any guilt or iniquity.
Look at how David describes how angry God is when God comes to fight for him. “The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the mountains laid bare, at Your rebuke, O LORD, at the blast of breath from Your nostrils.” (Psalm 18:15, NIV). Job 4:9 says that “those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. At the breath of God they are destroyed; at the blast of His anger they perish.” (NIV)
Some commentaries suggest that Isaiah 30:28 refers to the feast of unleavened bread, or Passover, because it was the only feast that began with a night celebration. Some also suggest that Passover was the most important of Jewish feasts. I believe that fits here because I believe God was wanting to give us a picture of how intensely joyful He wants to help us be while He fights for us once we return to trusting Him completely. As you likely know, the Passover feast commemorates Israel’s deliverance from Egypt.
This applies whether it is one of the all too frequent pop-up battles of everyday living—the boss criticizes, a large bill arrives, traffic gets snarled—or a long-standing battle where you have to fight weeks, months or years, like an addiction, climbing out of debt, or believing for salvation of loved ones.
Through His Spirit, He has come to live in me, so I have access to all that I need, and He has given me His Word as a shield and a weapon. If I love and serve Him whole-heartedly, with all my strength and soul and might, He declares me righteous, or in right standing, with Him and He helps me resist and overcome the enemy and live a holy life as well as a peaceful, joyful one.
Then I looked at the construction crew. Two men were using huge push brooms to smooth out the fresh asphalt. They all had long sleeve shirts and long pants on, a phenomenon I had thought peculiar when I first came to Texas ten years ago from Florida. I had learned since that people wear long sleeves because the Texas sun is more vicious than the Florida sun which passes through softening, highly humid air.
25. “And upon every high mountain and every high hill there will be brooks and streams of water in the day of the great slaughter [the day of the Lord], when the towers fall [and all His enemies are destroyed.]. Notice the “and”, which connects the blessings in Verse 25 with those that came before. And. . . in that day we will have all the water we need – everywhere we turn. Brooks and streams are both bodies of running water, but brooks are smaller, generally shorter and often found in rugged terrain. An area with brooks flowing through its nooks and crannies makes life far easier for humans and livestock alike than an area with only one stream, which is actually a small river. Water represents Holy Spirit, our Living Water (Jeremiah 2:13.) When we trust God, we have an abundance of Him to satisfy our thirst (1 Corinthians 12:13). We have an abundance of Him everywhere—even in the difficult to traverse places where refreshment seems unlikely, those nooks and crannies of everyday life and those painful, hard to get through moments. And we do not have to wat while we travel to get this water.
godly way, and directs life according to the Word of God, as in 1 John 1:7). In our verse, Isaiah 30:26, I believe light means God’s guidance for us when we are fully trusting and obeying Him. We see here that even in our dark times and situations, in the night seasons of our life, God will provide clear guidance for us because the light we have in our darkness (our moon in those times, so to speak) will be as bright as day. Furthermore, in the other times of our life, we will have guidance so clear that it will be like the sunshine of seven days concentrated into one. Now, that’s clear guidance!
I believe that the eagerness of the father in the story of the prodigal son is what God feels for even “little” turnings away from Him. How would you feel if you were on a special vacation with your beloved adult children and they chose to spend half the day away from you. How would you feel if you were walking in the woods with your toddler who got mad because you would not let her pick poison ivy and refused to walk beside you? God watches over us and walks with us every moment of every day, and He just wants us to talk with Him and think about Him. He just wants us to love Him and share the moments of our life with Him. He is our loving, doting, compassionate, gracious, kind, caring, joyous, laughing Father. He is our joy, He is our strength, He is our peace. And He loves us and wants the best for us, the things that are truly best.