“Verity: something (such as a statement) that is true”. www.merriam-webster.com.

The title for this piece worked itself out in the writing of it. The working title was “Miracles of Comfort and Provision.” However, the God Who adores, cherishes, treasures, prizes and dotes on you and me revealed the incalculable depth of a verity you possibly have pondered just as I have:  Little miracles aren’t little.

A niracle – Strength to keep trusting. Sitting on the edge of the bed, in the dark, head in hands, hands on knees, just like someone with a hangover.

“Oh, Father! I know You are here. I know You are taking care of things but I am so discouraged. Why is it so hard to get and keep a positive attitude? Why do I keep thinking about the negative when I am doing all I can to keep my thoughts on You and to meditate on Your truths? You healed that depression and showed me what to do. What is wrong with me that I can’t do it?

Is it just that so many hard things have happened lately that they added up to more than I can handle, even though I keep trying the best I can to cast my cares on You and leave them there? (Psalm 55:22; I Peter 5:6-10). I know part of it is also the fact that all believers are undergoing intense attack from the enemy. Maybe this is just a natural reaction to it all.”

Three times in the next two hours of morning puttering around—making hot tea, watching the sunrise, having devotions—tears popped up, tears and weeping.

“Thank You, Father, for leading me yesterday to meditate on Lamentations 3:19-33. It is still in my mind.  I know Your mercy and loving kindness keeps me from being consumed because Your tender compassions are new every morning. And I say that You are my portion, You are my life, and I will hope in You and wait with expectation, even though I feel as bad as it sounds Jeremiah felt..

A miracle – Paying bills. Pressing my lips into a firm line, I sat at the desk and dialed the student loan number, following up on the carefully prepared letter I had written to accompany the application. An hour later, as I ended the call and stared at two pages of notes, tears came again. But this time they were tears of relief. I had been accepted into an income-based payment plan with a more affordable monthly payment.

A miracle – “Gonna be alright”.   When I walked into the bedroom, I heard a gentle, soothing voice sing “Everything’s gonna be alright. I believe, yes I believe You’re working all things for my good.” The announcer said “That was ‘Gonna be alright’ by Ryan Ellis.”  A minute later I was at the computer, listening to the song heard a week ago, on another desperate morning. A thorough internet search had been unfruitful when similar titles kept popping up. For me, the lyrics and the music and the singer all transmitted a mighty anointing. Ryan sang soft and low, his voice a murmur, almost a whisper, reminding me of my earthly father’s gentle lilting baritone, my father who grew up on a horse farm and knew how to settle a horse or an injured pet with his voice and his hands. I sat and listened, hugging a big couch pillow to my chest as hard as I could.

“Father, it’s almost like hearing Your voice and feeling Your arms. Thank You for letting me find this song today. Bless that singer and others who hear this song. . .

“You hear my cry, my deepest pain.
You listen patiently as long as it takes.
You whisper truth over the lies
The words that bring me back to life.
Everything’s gonna be alright. . .”

A miracle – I CAN keep exercising.  I dried my tears and went to the gym, carrying my printed pages of Psalm 86 around with me as I worked out. In Psalm 86, David pleads with the Lord to listen and answer him in his distress, because he is trusting in God.  As I began stretching, I pondered how the AMPC put Psalm 86:

Preserve my life, for I am godly and dedicated; O my God, save Your servant, for I trust in You [leaning and believing on You, committing all and confidently looking to You, without fear or doubt’].

“Father, I am trusting in You the best I can. I do believe You will rescue me. I do have confidence in You and I am choosing to stop fear and doubting about all those problems I cast on You first thing this morning.”

Two weeks ago, all the weight-lifting equipment I had used for five years had been replaced with radically different equipment. Angry, (to be accurate, livid) and frustrated because the new equipment did not seem adjustable to my six-foot tall frame, I had not worked out in two weeks, during which time I had become progressively stiff, all over, and deeply discouraged with the inability to keep neck, back, shoulders, hips, knees, and feet strong enough to cope with old injuries and structural problems. But today, an angry determination, seemingly from nowhere, settled over me. I took time to really study the despised new machines and stopped being afraid they would harm muscles and joints being worked in new ways. With increasing relief, I went from machine to machine, planning out a routine that gave a good workout of the major muscle groups I needed to keep strong.

Then, under the sway of that angry determination from nowhere, I tried the elliptical machine I had not used in ten years and was stunned. Hips and back limbered up and muscles awoke. And, it did not hurt my previously-fractured ankle!

 “Thank You, Father. With the new weights and the elliptical and then a few minutes on the recumbent bicycle, I can get a more vigorous workout than I have had in years. You know how I have missed that and how good it makes me feel!”

A miracle – “The spade of agony” reminder. Then, while on the recumbent bike, I read several pages from “Beside Still Waters,” (Thomas Nelson, 1999), 365 devotionals on the topic of affliction, by Charles H. Spurgeon. In the devotional “Waiting for Mercy” (page 35), he applies the “no pain, no gain principle,” to heavenly things, stating

“God’s usual rule is to make us pray before He gives the blessing and to make us fervently pray before great mercies are given. . . If we obtained the blessing when we first asked, we would not have a sense of mercy’s value. . . First we ask, then we seek, and finally we plead with cries, tears, and a broken heart. . . I never would have been able to comfort anguished seekers if I myself had not been kept waiting for mercy. . .”

I had read his biography and knew that Pastor Spurgeon had indeed suffered great affliction throughout his life. I pondered his next comments “The spade of agony digs deep trenches to hold the water of life. . . If you knock with a heavy heart, you will soon sing with the joy of the Spirit. Therefore, do not be discouraged because the door is still closed.” What deep comfort that brought about the trials and the spiritual dangers of my loved ones.

A miracle – a dove in flight.  On my usual route home along Interstate 290, a dove suddenly appeared and flew from right to left directly in front of and above my car. Startling at the sight of it, I looked up just in time to see the Brodie exit sign and turn right, a change in course that prevented ten minutes of frustrated doubling back to reach the grocery.

Driving down the exit ramp, “Father, how many times over the years have You sent a dove or cardinal as a visible sign of Your care for me and Your presence? How many times have I been praying or been despondent or felt deeply alone or in an impossible situation and seen that flash of red in a tree or seen the speeding, powerful silhouette of a dove flash across the sky? Countless times, Father, I truly could never count how many times You have taken my breath away. Just to have a seeable demonstration that You are with me, that You see what I am doing, that You care about each little detail of my life (Psalm 37:23-24) . . .  what more could I ever ask?

I know we are to grow up in You and live more by faith than by sight or feelings. Maybe You have been showing me that truth these last few months when I have not felt Your presence like I usually do. Thank You, Lord, for loving me enough to make me grow up more.

A miracle – a tin of cookies.  I smiled as I picked up the little papaya colored tin of butter cookies. “Father, You know how much I like the butter cookies that come in tins and You know that having that many cookies around is too much temptation.” I put two of the little tins in my grocery car. “Thank You for these little tins of cookies. They will be so, so good with a cup of iced decaf when I’m writing. The perfect little treat!”

A miracle – just the knowing. After four trips lugging grocery bags up the stairs, I flopped on the couch, not even taking my shoes off. Pleasantly tired, the kind of good tired you get after working hard, I reflected on the day thus far.

“Maybe I should finish that blog post from yesterday, the one based on Psalm 97:11 because God has certainly scattered the light of His presence all along my path today. He had a lot of things prepared for me. But maybe the few people who read the blog are tired of hearing about my same old struggles. . . “

My face twisted up and tears popped into my eyes yet again as two thoughts popped into awareness. “Reading about Spurgeon’s and others struggles strengthens and encourages and comforts you, so hearing about your struggles well help others” and “I am not mad at you or disappointed with you because you have a tendency to get discouraged and afraid. Everyone has fleshly weaknesses and those just happen to be yours. I will always, always, always help you and strengthen and comfort you. I will never, no never, no never turn away from you in any way, My child.”

A miracle – frail leaves in the wind. Five minutes later, I cradled a cup of iced decaf, cool on my palms. I scooted the rocker closer to the window. After the unusual ice storm last week, I savored the look of sun pouring through the glass, glaring off the white rocker arms and reflecting off the faux oak flooring. Across the narrow slice of sky visible through the two buildings next to mine floated woolly clouds, as dazzlingly white as the Florida clouds I so sorely missed. Lily Bugs jumped onto the arm of the rocker, gazing at me with her slanting green eyes, leaning her head into my hand as I scratched her furry ears.

Through the window, a cluster of leaves on the end of a twig-like branch quivered in the slow breeze and quivered again, a slice of nature as beautiful and true and comforting as any grand vista of mountains or valley or ocean, a slice of nature prepared just for me. The ice storm had brought down the tree growing beneath my window but, by moving the rocker closer, I could still look out into nature, into God’s handiwork. I could still see His feathered creatures flit about the branches.

A miracle –help and comfort. As I kept thinking about all God had done this day and how to write about it, I started taking pictures, including one of the printed-out Bible verses I had carried around earlier in the day. I paused and read the last two verses of Psalm 86:

“O turn to me and have mercy and be gracious to me; grant strength (might and inflexibility to temptation) to Your servant and save the son of Your maidservant.

Show me a sign of [Your evident] goodwill and favor, that those who hate me may see it and be put to shame, because You, Lord, [will show Your approval of me when You] help and comfort me.” (Psalm 86:16-17, AMPC)

Grateful tears again filled my eyes as I realized that all day long God had been sending sign after sign of His goodwill, His favor and His approval. He had indeed helped and comforted. On first waking, the discouragement and sorrow and the feeling of being had been deep. But God had been a very present and well-proved help (Psalm 96:1) throughout my troubled day. And He was not done showering down mercy and loving kindness.

A miracle – making peace with the suffering of others. Earlier in the week, a wise friend had spoken of her own trials, which included seeing loved ones struggle. She was trying to surrender to the suffering, as she put it, to accept that sometimes we have to see the suffering of the ones we love.

I thought about that and reflected on the undercurrent of anger mixed with sorrow that I had felt all day. I knew my face was as downcast as it had been during the months of severe depression.

“Father, I know it’s okay to be mad and to express it. You tell us ‘Be angry and do not sin’ and the next phrase says not to ‘let the sun go down while you are still angry’, which means do not keep anger in your heart overnight (Ephesians 4:26).

I picked up my AMPC and read:

²⁶ When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down.
²⁷ Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him]. (Ephesians 4:26-27, AMPC)

“I know it’s normal to be mad at the enemy when we suffer and when our loved ones suffer. Lord, I think I have been angry for a long time about health and other on-going trials, especially lately with seeing loved ones hurting. I was probably mad at You, too, but my pride kept that hidden in my subconscious. That gave the enemy a foot hold. With that and the fatigue, no wonder there was so much negative. Forgive me, Father. I am so sorry. Help me change!”

A miracle – When “all” you can do is pray. “Father, I think You are showing me how to persevere in trials when there is nothing I can do but pray. You want me to cast all my worries, anxieties and concerns on You, guard my heart against negative thoughts and feelings, and pray.” Yesterday, I had begun re-reading Andrew Murray’s classic “The Ministry of Intercession.”  Using the parable of the friend at midnight in Luke 11, he had explained that impossible situations move us to pray more fervently because ‘all we can do is pray.’

“Lord, I do know that I cannot do anything about my loved ones situations but pray, and I will keep praying. I do not want to see them suffer, but by grace I know You will help me make peace with the process they are going through, even while I pray for Your mercy on them.”

A miracle – Peace that transcends understanding.

⁶ Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.

⁷ And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, AMPC)

As I sat in the sun, staring at the puffy clouds, that blessed peace from God began settling down, that unexplainable peace that you know can only be from God because it comes when things are so bad that it makes no sense to have peace. That morning, to make it more real to myself, I had written a list of cares I was choosing to cast onto the Lord (I Peter 5:7). Today, God had touched each one.

And now, now by His graciously putting the thoughts in my mind, I not only knew but felt that everything troubling me will indeed be alright, because:

• Our loving, merciful God IS sovereign,
• God sees it all and loves me and the people I love,
• He is now working and will continue working all things for our good and His glory,
• Nothing is too hard for God, and
• God never for one second forsakes us or relaxes His grip on us.

A miracle – His majesty and might.

Majestic and mighty, His mountains—the clouds—
Arise from the earth and the sea they enshroud.
Majestic and mighty, our sweet loving King,
Ruler of every great and small thing.

His little miracles are not little.  Selah, dear friend, selah!

For your comfort. Below is a list of songs that have especially comforted me in recent times. Each of them “happened” to play on the radio at moments of great need, a tender touch from the Lord, saying “I am right here with you. I see you. I have you in My arms. Everything will be alright, My child.”

I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] (Hebrews 13:5b, AMPC)

[1] “Gonna be alright”, written by Ryan Ellis, Ethan Hulse and Ben Cantelo, performed by Ryan Ellis.  https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=gon

[2] “Rescue” (I will send out an army), written and performed by Lauren Daigle.
https://tinyurl.com/2p83zp9e

[3] “Don’t lose heart” written by Steven Curtis Chapman, Bryan Fowler and Micah Kuiper.
https://tinyurl.com/2p8dp2kv

[4] “Life is hard (but God is good), by Pam Thum.  https://tinyurl.com/a3473prh

[5] I also highly recommend the book “Beside Still Waters” by Charles H. Spurgeon. Each page reaches deep into the soul and spirit.

One more miracle – the power of truth.  A few days later, I heard: “Fatigue can mimic  and trigger depression.” I had heard that before but in the moment of hearing it this time, I sensed God was setting me free from a lie that had been floating in my subconsciousness – the lie that I was depressed again and that it would take a long time to overcome it, that there was a basic tendency in my personality that would always cause depression.

Yes, for several months there had been real reasons for fatigue and some might continue for a while. However, understanding that fatigue, and specifically accumulated fatigue, had caused most of the negativity and anxiety made me feel well able to overcome it. That knowledge was reassurance from the Lord that I had done well to keep leaning on Him, to keep meditating on and studying the Word the best I could, and going on with my life, consciously walking with Him the best I could each day and loving those He put in my path.

A second truth I heard was that in hard times it is easy to lose perspective, which is why God tells us to have close fellowship with other believers. That means it is wise to invest time and effort into establishing and maintaining close relationships.

As I re-read this, I heard echoes from a friend of another truth I need to hear often, which is not to get tricked into a “works attitude.”  None of us can ever be good enough to earn salvation, rather, it is a free gift from God (Ephesians 2:8-9). It is a gift so that none of us can boast.  Neither do we “earn” any of God’s other gifts. It is all by grace, because it is God Who works in us, to give us the desire even to do good.

 [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while ^[j]effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. (Phillippians 2:13, AMPC)

Dear friend, I pray this writing brings you comfort. As the song says, “Life is hard, but God is good”. Oh, He is so, so, so very good to us! He adores us, and He is with us every moment of this life and will be on into eternity. He wants us to have abundant life now, as well as in eternity. (John 10:10)

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, til it overflows). AMPC