I lay still a moment in the thick silence and darkness, pulling the comforter up to my chin, remembering how my father always rose at five, in pre-dawn darkness like this, and left the house at five-thirty for the rock mine. When I was older and needed extra time to study, he woke me up, too. On those cherished mornings, I shuffled between sink and stove, making toast and the one cup of instant coffee I was allowed, while Daddy sat at the table, skimming headlines and perusing the sports page.

We turned on just the stove light on those mornings.   The bedrooms were at the other end of the hall, but the hall was short so the overhead light would have shone under closed doors and awakened my Mom and my two brothers. Alone in the dimly-lit kitchen, it was like Daddy and I were spotlighted on a stage, the rest of the house hidden in the uniform anonymity of darkness, like a darkened theater, present but possessing no possibility of affecting the actors on the stage.

For those few minutes, I had Daddy all to myself, and we two, who were more alike than I would realize for many years, sat in a silence as companionable as it was absolute, the only sounds an occasional gentle snap as Daddy straightened the newspaper or a quiet slurp as I took a prolonged sip of my precious one cup of coffee.

All too soon on those mornings, he kissed my cheek then was at the door where he’d left his work boots, coated with lime rock, the night before. Then he was gone, leaving me in the spotlighted kitchen, alone but feeling special and somehow right with the world, having already achieved an early start to my day, just like him. I also felt loved, I felt safe, and I felt secure, like I always did when Daddy was home.

Whether a lark (those who are alert during the day, like me and my Dad) or an owl, those who prefer being awake at night, we all need to start our day feeling loved, feeling safe, and feeling secure. Solitary time with God is the best way.

Feeling loved. God tells us to start our day with our minds on His commandments. In Deuteronomy 6:7 He says “Impress them (meaning His commandments, which He just talked about in verse 6) on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up. . . (NIV).“

When I wake up, if I start to worry about the day or week ahead, I think about all the ways He has fulfilled His many promises to keep me in His peace (Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 29:11, Psalm 76:3, Matthew 28:11-30). That helps me start my day feeling loved, as I remind myself that God has always taken care of me. Just thinking about Daddy made me feel good because he was consistently loving, tender and caring toward me. Pausing to think about God makes me feel good.

Feeling safe. It is natural to look toward the sky on awakening. If we pause long enough, we start thinking about Who made that sky, how powerful He is, and how much He loves us. And those are comforting, soothing thoughts.

Many psalms illustrate how considering nature can calm us. Such psalms follow a pattern:

• an outpouring of the psalmist’s emotions;
• consideration of God’s power and love as revealed in nature and His dealings with mankind; and
• then solace as the songwriter ponders God’s love for him.

What a healthy way to banish negative feelings! Tell God just how we feel and then ponder His power and His love for us until we feel encouraged.

Feeling secure. Psalm 91:14 (AMPC) says, “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him. I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love and kindness; trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never.) I felt secure just being in my Dad’s presence because I knew his character. I had experienced what he was like and how he would treat me.

These last few months of maintaining victory over depression, I have come to know God’s character better than before because I have pressed in hard to get closer to Him. He has drawn closer to me in response. (James 4:8) I have been truly leaning on Him, depending on Him so much that if He withdrew His support I would fall, just as if you had removed a crutch that I needed.

I think of that as wrestling with God, like Jacob did at Peniel. “And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel [the face of God] saying, For I have seen God face to face, and my life is spared and not snatched away.” (Genesis 32:30, AMPC) For the rest of his life, Jacob limped. I cannot live now without leaning on God for my every step. I limp but I walk with Jesus and I am happy beyond words!