Category Archives: DAILY LIFE

Are you fearful, like me?

ANXIETY, DAILY LIFE, ENCOURAGEMENT, HOPE, TRUSTING GOD

 

 

The following poem can be sung to the melody of the beloved Christmas carol “O, Little Town of Bethlehem.” Try it.

[1] My fearful heart, my fragile soul, why do you doubt and fear?
for God your King is powerful, and He is very near.
He watches over you with care, takes note of where you go,
so wait and hope and expect Him. He’s helping you to grow.

[2] Here in the silence of my heart I’m learning to depend.
He’s teaching me from His great law to hide myself in Him.
He’s working all things for my good. In all things He is faithful,
to teach my heart to follow Him, to trust Him as I should.

[3] When life in this old evil world brings torment without cease,
our God wants our minds fixed on Him, safe, guarded, kept in peace.
He knows our every weakness, He knows our hearts are frail,
and so He sent Emmanuel. In Him we never fail!

[4] When you are feeling all alone, like you don’t have a friend,
remember Satan’s lies are lies, and trust makes darkness end.
For every time we call on Him, He answers us with light,
and on His strength we can depend!
We’re girded in His might!

“Are you fearful, like me?” is a trick question, sort of. I wanted to get your attention. I am not fearful in the sense that I know God is sovereign, I know that He is loving and faithful, and I know that not one word of all His promises ever fails. Yet, because I am human, feelings of all kinds occasionally splash up, like waves on seaside rocks. And, sometimes if I do not run to God quickly enough, feelings overwhelm my soul, as surely as the tide overwhelms (ah! but only temporarily) the ever-shifting shoreline.

We all have similar feelings. As the Word tells us, we humans all have similar feelings. Look at 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 in the New Living Translation.

12 If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. 13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure (emphasis added).

The context for this comforting verse is Paul’s warning that the believers at Corinth not repeat the mistakes Israel did, when the Israelites “set their hearts on evil things” (v. 6), when they were idolators, adulterers and grumblers and tested the Lord. All these died in the dessert, never making it to the Promised Land.

Paul says “These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come” (v. 11). In light of that, Paul says we must be very careful, if we think we are doing well spiritually, to be careful and not fall into sin, because we are all subject to the same temptations.

12 Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands [who feels sure that he has a steadfast mind and is standing firm], take heed lest he fall [into sin].

13 For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man

[that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear].

But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature],

and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure,

but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out

(the means of escape to a landing place),

that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently. (I Corinthians 10:12-13, AMPC).

Note that the emphases and the spacing are my interpretation and not included in the original text.

God will provide a way of escape. How comforting that last part of Verse 13 is! Read it again. No matter what temptation we face, God has promised He will not let it be more than we can endure and He will make a way out of it, a “means of escape to a safe landing place.” I like to think of that as a child running into his father’s strong and loving arms.

Why we must always be running to God.  Verse 14 is connected to what came before the “Therefore” that starts Verse 14. Because of what we just saw in Verse 1 through 13, we are to flee from idolatry, which means to shun, to consistently avoid loving or honoring or respecting anything or anyone more than we do God. Read this verse in the AMPC.

14 Therefore, my dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or venerating anything more than God) (emphasis added).

So, verses 1 through 14 tell us if we are appropriately aware of our human tendencies–of all kinds, not just fear–we will seek, inquire of and for, and depend upon God as our first and vital necessity.

I think God is lovingly telling us here, as a father would tell a beloved son embarking on a journey: Now, remember, you cannot see in the darkness. You must walk only in the light.

And how do we do that? By keeping His Word in our mind – constantly. Three years ago, I was just starting to learn how to maintain healing from life-controlling depression and fear. What brought healing? Diligent, daily meditation on God’s Word. Desperation led me to meditate on comforting Bible verses hour after hour, all day long, during every free minute, every day, week after week, month after month. As I did that God’s Word healed my heart when all else had failed.

God has maintained the healing and helped me grow. How? By moving me to continue delighting in His law and diligently meditating “on His law day and night.” (Psalm 1:2, NIV).

Still desperate about His Word. I am still desperate about His Word because I have learned I can do nothing without Him but that “I can do everything through Christ Who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13, NLT) By His grace I can now say to my loving, gracious Father:

I will keep Your law continually, forever and ever [hearing, receiving, loving, and obeying it]. And I will walk at liberty and at ease, for I have sought and inquired for [and desperately required] Your precepts. (Psalm 119:45, AMPC)

Other carols for consecration.  If you like the poem above, and the idea of more verses for your favorite Christmas carols, see “Carols for Consecration” on the Books and More page of this website or the link below.

Carols-for-Consecration-.pdf (wordsofhopeandhealing.com)

I pray you will be helped to meditate more and more on God’s powerful Word. And find more and evermore peace during this season, this blessed season when God  Himself came to earth to bring peace on earth and “good will to men.” (Luke 2:14, NIV).

 

God says: Soar!

ANXIETY, BIBLE STUDY, DAILY LIFE, HOPE, TRUSTING GOD

That soaring hawk. The waiting room was quiet, but I was not waiting quietly, at least not on the inside. Then came the blast of the Keurig machine and that wonderful penetrating aroma of fresh coffee. I knew that machine was there in the reception area because one half of this large office did cardiac stress tests, including chemical stress tests where people sometimes had a reaction that was helped with a simple cup of coffee. I had experienced that last year.

“Oh, Lord! I hope the doctor does not tell me I need another one of those this year!”

Tired of sitting, I walked over and stood in front of the floor to ceiling windows on the second floor of the doctor’s office. Since third grade, being even one floor above ground brings me back to the first time I was in a home with a second floor, when our Florida family visited my paternal grandmother in Nashville. I can still see Granny, smiling and leading us all through the side-entrance and up the narrow, carpeted, tunnel-like stairway to her second-floor apartment where, wonder of wonders, you looked right into the branches of trees.

The simple charm of that came back as my eyes traced the wave-like line of treetops. Then I saw it, just a spot at first, in the distance. Moving in narrow arcs from side to side, the hawk drew closer. As it drew closer the width of those arcs increased. The bird soared, wings fully opened, moving only to change altitude or make a turn and even then, only making slow, gentle flaps as its body angled into the turns.

Like many modern doctors’ offices, the entire wall was floor to ceiling windows.  I watched as that hawk flew left and right, back and forth, turning just as it was about to go out of my sight and going back in the other direction, over and over and over. Like it was performing, dancing in the air, just for me, it flew. Effortlessly.

“Lord, thank You. I get it. That hawk is soaring, as an eagle, just by spreading its wings. It is riding on the wind. I know You want me to mount up over the difficulties of life this day to soar with You, as You say in that verse in Isaiah 40. I know You want me to enjoy this day and be glad because You have made this day for me. It is no accident.” (Psalm 118:24)”

Isaiah 40,“a grand chapter.” Isaiah 40, which contains that well-known verse about mounting up like an eagle, “is a grand chapter” as Henry H. Halley said. Verses 1 through 11 speak of the coming of Jesus. Verses 12-31, the rest of the chapter, speak of “the infinite power of God, and the eternal youth of those who trust Him” (Halley’s Bible Handbook, p. 385). To read the entire chapter is to walk, not on a field strewn with diamonds, but a field comprised of diamonds. We will pick up but a few diamonds of truth in this short writing, just enough to get the context for Isaiah 40:28-31, the passage we will focus on.

Isaiah 40 is the first chapter of a lengthy passage (chapters 40 through 56), that presents God’s promises of the coming deliverance for His people. God starts this discourse with “Comfort, comfort My people” (Isaiah 40:1, AMPC) and then He tells them to get ready because He, their sovereign Lord is coming “with power.”

Then Isaiah shifts into one of the many sublime passages in the Word that describe God’s power. We hear the same thunderous truths we hear when God addresses Job in Job 38 through 41. In Job 38, God asks Job “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundations? (v. 4)  Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place? (v. 12), Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? (v. 18). In Job 39, God asks Job “Do you give the horse its strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane? (v. 19). “Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom and spread his wings toward the south? Does the eagle soar at your command and build his nest on high?” (v. 26-27). (NIV)

Similarly, in Isaiah 40 we hear God ask:

Verse 12-15. “Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, or with the breadth of His hand marked off the heavens?” and “Who has understood the mind of the LORD, or instructed Him as His counselor?” Then God says that “before Him all nations are as nothing; they are regarded by Him as worthless and less than nothing.” (v. 12, 13, and5a).

Verse 21-24. God asks haven’t you heard? Don’t you know that God reigns over all that is, and that He is omnipotent, omnipresent.  “He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers.” 

Verse 25-26. With that in His listener’s minds, God, our Holy and loving God, then asks, “To whom will you compare Me? Or who is My equal?” Look up at the sky and think about Who made the heavens. Think about Who calls each star by name and keeps them all, right where they are.

Verses 27-31. God then asks, in view of all that, why do you think God is not watching you? “Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God.” (NIV) God asks haven’t you heard, don’t you know, that “The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.” And He never tires, He understands everything, and He gives strength to those who are weak. Even when human strength fails, God gives new strength to those who hope in Him. Then they soar and move forward like the most majestic creature of the air. They run and do not grow weary.

What does waiting mean? Let’s look at Verse 31 in the Amplified Bible

“But those who wait for the LORD–who expect, look for, and hope in Him—shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint or become tired.” (Isaiah 40:31, emphasis added, AMP)

That word wait is rendered, in various translations, as wait, hope and trust. I’ve most often heard it quoted as wait. Notice that “waiting for the LORD” means to “expect, look for, and hope in Him.” In our humanity, we want to obey God and immediately see results. We want to read a verse, do what it says and see God move immediately, certainly within a day or two. But waiting, by definition, means a time of staying where you are until something happens. Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines wait as “To stay or rest in expectation; to stop or remain stationary, till the arrival of some person or event.” So, we must trust God, and wait for Him—with patience and expectation and hope. Then comes the result.

How does God say to wait? We are not only to wait. We are to wait with hope and confident expectation. While we wait with confidence in Him, God helps us and that gladdens our heart. Consider Psalm 28:7. “The Lord is my Strength and my [impenetrable] Shield; my heart trusts in, relies on, and confidently leans on Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.” (emphasis added, AMP).

But what if we have no hope? What if we are not confident God will answer? God understands the heart. That is why He told us It only takes a mustard seed size bit of faith (Matthew 17:20).  I believe that is why He included Mark 9:14-25 in the Bible, that story of the boy horribly afflicted by an unclean spirit. When Jesus told the boy’s desperate father anything is possible, the father cried “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.” (NIV) That’s how honest we must be with God.

And if we do not feel even that much faith, He will give us the desire to feel it. In Philippians 2, Paul reassured people who were continuing to grow in the Lord that God would give them not only the strength and, power to do His will but the desire as well.

 [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. (Philippians 2:13)

Living, active faith. Do you see that this waiting God requires is not passive, but rather active? There is an if/then, cause/effect link between God’s kind of waiting and the rewards He promises. We hope confidently in Him. Then we wait. Then He renews our strength.

We start the process of waiting with hope and expectation by taking a leap, by choosing to believe and by saying I will trust that God will rescue me. Consider Psalm 91. If we dwell in the secret place of the Most High (verse 1) and if we say ‘God is my refuge and my fortress and I trust Him with confidence’ (verse 2), then all the promises in the rest of Psalm 91 apply.  I must declare, or say explicitly, that I am trusting in God, with confidence. That is active faith.

We see the same principle in Psalm 33:21. If you invert the clauses in that verse you get something like – because we have trusted, relied on and been confident in the Lord’s holy nature, our heart rejoices in Him (Psalm 33:21, AMPC paraphrased).

Again, this is what Jeremiah does in Lamentations 3:19-28. Because Jeremiah knows God is good to those who wait for Him hopefully and expectantly (v. 25) Jeremiah’s heart cries out, he takes a leap and says, “The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.” (v. 24) Jeremiah is saying he is trusting God as His allotted portion in life, just as the priests in Bible times received their sustenance from the people because God was their portion, their provider. The rest of the Israelites, the non-priests, worked in the fields to get their food, but the priests were provided food by God, through the other Israelites, because the priests spent the hours of their days serving Him. God was the portion of the priests (Numbers 18:20).

Eagles leap, then soar. While writing this blog post I looked at slow motion videos of eagles soaring. Then I wondered how do they start soaring? God embeds deep teachings in nature. Eagles start soaring by taking a leap. Although they can, somewhat passively, simply stretch out their wings when they soar, they start soaring by taking a leap.

I will not soar with God, resting in His strength, until I take a leap and choose to hope in Him, with confidence, expecting that He will come through for me.

Watch the video at the link below or find another one by typing “slow motion video of eagle taking off” into a search engine. Do you see that initial leap the eagle takes? As the eagle leaps, he starts spreading his wings. Look at the strength and power in those wings, and those bones in those wings, arms and elbows so to speak, as they bend and reach out, the muscles and corded tendons contracting then stretching out. See the feathers unfurl and spread.

https://rb.gy/pm0gtn

 

Notice how the wings change shape. See how very, very wide the wingspan is in proportion to the body. Notice how high up the wings reach and then how far down. “Eagles fly by utilizing their impressive wingspan, muscular bodies, and specialized flight adaptations…including a wing structure designed for maximum efficiency and the ability to manipulate wing shape and angel for lift and energy efficiency.´ How Do Eagles Fly? Revealing the Secrets of Their Soaring | Learn Bird Watching

Such a symphony of complexity, yet eagles leap then soar with ease because God made them with that capability.

You can do it!  God commands the eagle to soar (Job 39:26) but within that command is the command to leap. It may not feel like it in some circumstances, but God has made us with the capacity to take leaps of faith and soar, with Him, above the worries of this earthly life. It all begins with choosing to believe His Word, by taking a leap. Friend, you can do it because God is working in you.

 

 

I didn’t feel like being grateful

ANXIETY, DAILY LIFE, ENCOURAGEMENT, HARD TIMES, HOPE, TRUSTING GOD

I didn’t feel like being grateful. My right foot began to throb as I depressed the brake, waiting at the light. I ran my thumbs over the smooth curve of the steering wheel, impatient.

“I am so tired of all these physical problems!” I moaned to myself. “Is part of the foot pain coming from the low back, like that one doctor said? Or is it something else? And if it is, how am I supposed to pay for the decompression treatments he said would likely help?”

The gray, overcast day reflected my mood. For days, impenetrable murk had hidden the shape of God’s vault of blue heaven above. Instead of feeling lifted up and free upon stepping outside, oppressive gray clouds weighed heavily on the mind, closing you in, stealing the chance for an upward, hope-giving glance at that inverted bowl of blue and the majestic mountains of white clouds.

Across the intersection, I saw a gray-haired man in a wheelchair, also waiting for the light. Time flashed back thirty years, to one of those moments that, when you experience it, you know you will always remember.

Thirty years ago I had been driving home from my secretarial job where I sat outside the door of a sarcastic, mean, and hyper-critical boss. I was feeling sorry for myself, dreading sitting down with the bills when I got home where I would have to stretch my single-parent income beyond belief, and angry that my daughter, at age 15, worked at McDonald’s so she could have extras like magazines, make-up to experiment with and an occasional movie. There, bumping along on the side of the road, in the uneven dirt, was a young man in a wheelchair. There were no feet propped on the footplates of the wheelchair.

Instantly a saying from Al-Anon days came to mind. “I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” That day, through tears, I had counted my blessings, literally, all the way home.

Now, as I sat at the light, looking at that old man in the wheelchair, recalling the lesson God had written on my heart so long ago, I knew something was really wrong. I still did not feel like being grateful, even after such a direct message from God.

Why was I floundering? The immediate reason for my sour mood was that I was returning from the gym, to which I had driven for the swim which aways eases my back. But three minutes in, they closed the pool for chemical rebalancing. The light changed. I resumed my fuming.

“I have to exercise more than anyone else I know and I still have so many physical problems. That is not fair!”

As I pulled into the parking lot, light finally penetrated my darkness.

“Lord, You promise to work good out of everything so I am going to see what lessons You have for me in this experience. I am going to get good out of this. Please help me get my attitude right, Lord! I am sorry but I am really mad about everything!”

I inhaled deeply as I walked toward the stairs, enjoying the smell of the drizzle that was starting and the slight chill in the air that gets pleasantly into your bones, so refreshing after months of sticky heat. As I unlocked the door, insights flooded in. I was reminded of the series of blog posts I had just finished on Isaiah 30, which teaches that all the time we have turned away from God He is eagerly waiting, looking and longing to be gracious to us (Isaiah 30:18) and that He fights our enemies for us when we return to resting and depending on Him.

Like a pouting little child stamping her foot, I had, finally, looked up at my Heavenly Father and raised my arms to Him. And, like the father of the prodigal who was eagerly watching for his son to return, God ran.

The blessings of insights from God. How blessed we are that God invites us to talk things over with Him. In Isaiah 1:18 He says:

“Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool. (AMPC.)” And James 4:8-11 tells us “Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up. (NIV)

Prayerfully I reviewed what had gotten me into such a vile state of “unworthy and unwarranted suspicions regarding God’s faithfulness.” (Jeremiah 15:19, AMPC). For days, I had tried to be grateful, to just talk with Jesus about the problems, ignore those fickle old feelings and just move forward. For days I had been unable to feel His presence and His peace. So, despite strong effort, worry, fear, anger and resentment settled into my heart.

Oh, those foxes, those little foxes! [My heart was touched and I fervently sang to Him my desire] Take for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards [of our love], for our vineyards are in blossom.” (Solomon 2:15, AMPC). When I look back now, now that I have, by grace, regained peace, the problems that made me stumble seem so little. I am sure you could write a similar list. Mine was ongoing and worsening back problems; no funds to cover the treatment that might help; ongoing and worsening foot problems related to that; the need for minor foot surgery in two weeks, surgery that would further complicate all the back problems when I could not exercise for a while afterwards; having to wait three weeks for insurance to cover new eyeglasses; worsening eye pain and strain each day, not knowing if that was caused by the need for new glasses or cataracts or dry eye, the expensive remedy for which insurance also did not cover.

It seemed that everything I use each day, to just live and to write, which is a great joy, was falling apart. Another contributing factor to self-pity and irritability was the lingering week-long cold.

“Why couldn’t I be grateful for all God had done?” I asked myself as I reviewed the blessings God had showered on me this week: stopping the blood thinner, which had caused much fatigue for an entire year; getting me unstuck after weeks of struggling with a hard chapter in the next book; and showing how to modify some daily activities so as to help with feet and back issues.

Besides all of that, there were the huge, huge blessings that are a part of daily life: salvation, a close relationship with Him, some of my family being saved and faith to believe for the others; living close to family; living in America; money for all my needs and many of my wants; deliverance from depression; training in keeping emotions stable; and the knowledge of how to return to God when I sin and/or bad things happen.

God’s deliverance. So, here is what I told myself to do.

[1] Ask God to forgive me for my wrong attitudes and complaining and ingratitude. Two verses I greatly value are: 1 John 1:9, which says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (NIV)” So simple. So necessary. The second is Proverbs 28:13 which teaches us that “Whoever conceals their sin does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” In doing that, we humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand and He will lift us up in due time, as He promises in Peter 5:6-7.

Confessing our sin is doing what James 4:7-10 commands us:

7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

[2] Make up my mind to God thanks for everything I can think of, no matter how I feel, and to praise Him. I Thessalonians 5:18 tells us “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (ESV) Psalm 100:4 tells us to approach God with thanksgiving and praise in our hearts. Consider this quotation from Debbie Przybylski on www.crosswalk.com.

God inhabits our praise. The word “inhabit” or “enthrone” (yashab) means to judge in ambush. When we praise God, He will seat himself right in the middle of our lives and judge the enemies that are surrounding us. The Japanese translation of Psalm 22:3 is: “When you praise God He brings a big chair and sits there.” Think about that! God is seated in the center of your life. The enemy cannot dethrone you because God cannot be overthrown!” https://rb.gy/fz4791

[3] Ask God to impress the lesson of this painful experience deeply on my heart. Psalm 103:18 in the AMPC has a vital lesson for me. Verse 17 says that “. . . from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear Him. . . “(NIV) The thought continues in verse 18: “to such as keep His covenant—hearing, receiving, loving and obeying it; and to those who [earnestly] remember His commands to do them [imprinting them on their hearts] (emphasis added). To me this verse says that when we earnestly, whole-heartedly, lovingly obey the Lord we imprint, or write, His word on our heart. This is part of the new covenant we now have through Jesus that God explains in the book of Hebrews. In Hebrews 10:16 God says “I will imprint My laws upon their hearts, and I will inscribe them on their minds (on their inmost thoughts and understanding.)” (AMPC)

Taken together, these verses reassure me (and, oh how I need that reassurance!) that as I follow God’s commands God imprints them, like a brand, on my heart and mind. This is part of how He works in my heart to give me godly desires and enables me to live a holy life (Philippians 2:13). He is changing my nature so that I want to love and serve Him even more.

Verse 14 of Psalm 103 is also instructive in this matter. It says that God understands exactly how we are made. “For He knows our frame; He [earnestly] remembers and imprints on His heart] that we are dust.” (AMPC). This says to me that if God imprints on His heart how much we need His compassion, we should imprint what He wants us to do on our hearts. If He loves us so much, how can we not respond appropriately? Selah. See what Holy Spirit tells you about these two verses. And all of Psalm 103.

[4] Thank Him for His loving discipline (Hebrews 12). In times of trial, whether we are partly the cause or not, it is well worth taking time to ponder the truths of Hebrews 12:1-13 and John 15:1-17. God uses hardships to train us, for our good, so that we may share in His holiness (Hebrews 12:10b). He trims or removes from our lives the things that bear no fruit and He also works with the things that do bear fruit so that those things may bear even more fruit (John 15). Clearly, some of my branches needed to be cut off and thrown away. However, God was lovingly working with my heart so that the faith, hope, trust, and self-control I had would increase.

Two thoughts to keep in mind. So dear friend and fellow oh so human human being, here are two thoughts that I pray will ease your heart as they do mine.

One, God knows exactly how you feel and has deep compassion on your fleshly tendencies whether you are a new believer or 50 years old in the Lord. He included many stories in the Bible about mature saints who yielded to complaints, worries, and fears. And He included how He loved and worked with them every time when they sought Him. Consider the failings of Moses, Elijah, David, and Jonah, just for starters.

And two, God is not mad at you for automatic, instinctive reactions of your flesh. Pinch my arm and my flesh reacts with physical pain. Pinch my circumstances and my flesh reacts with negative emotion. It is a trap of the enemy to feel guilty about such feelings and let them continue, subconsciously feeling we have failed Him and He must be mad at us.

Even when we, being so very human, let wrong thoughts stay in our heart, God is not mad at us any more than a parent is mad with children who react in childish ways. He just longs to lift us up and restore us to His side. Think of how often He forgave the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness and then when they lived in the land He had promised.
When you see a little child stumble and fall and you hear that piercing wail of distress you want to pick up that child, hold him close and tell him everything will be alright. You feel that child’s pain. That is compassion.

How much more does God feel compassion for us when we stumble? In Isaiah 49, God says His love for us, and His consciousness of us, is greater than that of a mother with a tiny infant. In Isaiah 49:16 God says “See I have engraved you on the palm of my hands;” (NIV)
Beloved one, “The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.” (Psalm 145:8, AMPC). To be filled with something is to have no room for anything else. Do a word study on God’s compassion.

No matter what is happening in your life, no matter how your feelings have reacted, humbly present yourself to God. He will lift you up “. . . for He is good; for His mercy and lovingkindness endure forever.” (Psalm 118:1b and 29b, NIV) Every verse in Psalm 136 repeats that statement. Think about why God did that. He did that for you.

God will always raise you up, to make you more than you can be, because He loves you. Ponder that as you listen to “You Raise Me Up”.

 

Many sparrows

ANXIETY, DAILY LIFE, DEVOTIONALS, ENCOURAGEMENT, TRUSTING GOD

Early morning thoughts. I took a sip of tea, leaned forward and opened the blinds behind the desk. There, in the yellow halo of light from the blazing security light affixed to the wall, three small gray and brown sparrows perched in the entwining branches of the crepe myrtle trees screening the window of my second floor condo. Two had their heads tucked under their wings, demonstrating all the flexibility usually attributed to those of the feline persuasion. The third miniature beauty was occupied with his morning ablutions, pecking his tiny beak atop, behind and under his uplifted snippet of a wing.

Beyond and to the sides of this sparrow’s bedroom of light there in the tree branches, darkness was still really dark, stirring, as it always did, tender memories of high school mornings when my father, who arose at five to go to the rock mine, sometimes woke me when I had a paper due or needed an extra hour of piano practice.

“How can that be so many decades ago now?” I wondered. “Thank You, Lord, for those two Scriptures yesterday, that one in Isaiah and in Psalms”.

 Even to your old age I am He, and even to hair white with age will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; yes, I will carry and will save you. (Isaiah 46:4, AMPC)

 I will come in the strength and with the mighty acts of the Lord God; I will mention and praise Your righteousness, even Yours alone.

O God, You have taught me from my youth, and hitherto have I declared Your wondrous works.

 Yes, even when I am old and gray-headed, O God, forsake me not, [but keep me alive] until I have declared Your mighty strength to [this] generation, and Your might and power to all that are to come. (Psalm 71:16-18, AMPC)

Coping with problems. I had recently started going to bed earlier so that I could get up earlier for the specific purpose of dividing up time spent sitting at the computer, part of ongoing efforts to keep on with the work of writing despite the recent barrage of age-related challenges like eye strain, stiff joints, fatigue, and on and on.

But today, looking at the sparrows I am richly blessed as the word of God comes to mind, as always bringing truth and therefore peace. The truth is that I am exceedingly blessed, in countless ways. Having a home, food, a car, the freedoms of living in America are things I try to remember to thank God for daily. But I also thank Him for the health He has given and for the wisdom He gives in how to keep going, and even laugh, in spite of the problems associated with old age and white hairs.

So, this morning as I look at the sparrows, I think:

“Finally, I get it Lord . . . there are many sparrows. Many. And I am worth more than many of them, You said. As they simply perch and sleep, and awake and happily chirp the day awake they do not worry how they will do their job of finding food. If one of them is a little older and is feeling stiff, they do not worry.

Two days later. . . I was having a great day, with an unusually long stretch of time to write since it was not only a rest day from exercise but also a day with few other chores to do as well. Most of the morning, I spent happily combining ten or so separate files into one, closing in on the process of getting the book “Undepressed” ready to put on the website, hopefully by the end of this month.

At one, I took an hour’s rest, flat on the bed, part of my self-imposed health habits that help greatly. After a bite of lunch and a quick quiet time, I was debating whether to continue work on compiling files or to return to work on the new book about becoming a believer when a text pinged.

“We have noticed suspicious activity on your account. If you did not authorize the following transaction, text N to this number. . . “

Well, that led to four more text messages, with waits in between each, and then the text “Your debit card has been cancelled due to fraudulent activity. Please see your financial institution or call this number for a new card. . . “

Aaaarrgggghhhhh!

“Just when things are going so well, just when I have some extra time, just when I was in such a good mood. . . “ began the silent fuming.

But, by grace, not for long.

“I am sorry, Lord. Thank You for catching this attempt at fraud.  Thank you that they only got one hundred dollars before the fraud protection system stopped it. Help me redeem this time, Lord. Let there be someone at the credit union that I can witness to. Help me have a good attitude.”

Well, there just was no chance to witness to anyone. I got a new card, was given the phone number to call and dispute the fraudulent charges, and advised, which I already knew, that any automatic payments that had been set up on the old card would have to be re-established.

I walked back out into the Texas sun, still highly irked at the loss in time and the loss of the good mood. I had so much I wanted to get done today!

But, as I pulled back into the parking lot and walked to my unit, I realized it had only taken an hour. The credit union was less than two miles from my home, there had been only a short line, and I could probably have the money taken by fraud restored.

How He takes care of sparrows. That’s when I remembered this blog post I had started a couple of days before, and I thought.

“Lord, part of the way you take care of the billions of sparrows in Your world is through protecting them from harm, just like You protected me from financial harm. And those sparrows do not worry or fret about cats or birds of prey or other dangers, once they are passed.”

I sat back down at my desk and thought about the day and other blessings and protections. I had been up at five to drive someone I love to the hospital for a procedure, where all turned out to be fine, a blessing to that person and to me. On the way home, I had been passed on the interstate by two fire engines and an ambulance, on their way I soon saw as I creeped along in the backed-up traffic, to a bad car accident. Had I not had to wait an hour at the hospital while the check-in snafu got untangled before I left, I might have been in that accident.

“Father, like a child fussing because his papa will not let him cross the street when cars are coming or a child throwing a tantrum because she cannot have a cookie thirty minutes before dinner, I have whined and been mad about delays today. And all the while You have been protecting me. Forgive me, Lord, and show me how to be more grateful for all the hours and hours of time You give me every day and all the blessings You constantly pour out.

 Help me truly consider the lilies and the sparrows. Give me the heart of a trusting, non-complaining and grateful child.”

Biblical basis. As ever, I cannot seem to write short blog posts! In looking up the well-known sparrows reference I found that Jesus used the metaphor of sparrows and another time He used ravens and lilies to tell us not to worry. Most of Mattthew 10 contains the instructions of Jesus to His disciples when He was sending them out to minister. He warns them that they will be persecuted and tells them not to worry because they are “worth more than many sparrows” and God cares for every single sparrow.

In Luke 12, Jesus was addressing not only His twelve disciples but a large crowd as well.

22 Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. 23 For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. 24 Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! 25 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? 26 And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?

27 “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

32 “So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.

33 “Sell your possessions and give to those in need. This will store up treasure for you in heaven! And the purses of heaven never get old or develop holes. Your treasure will be safe; no thief can steal it and no moth can destroy it. 34 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

As Halley’s Bible Handbook notes “Jesus had favorite sayings that He repeated again and again. One of them was about God’s unfailing care for and guidance of His people.” (p. 669).

How gracious God is to bring His Word to our minds again and again, and again, and just when we need it, just as He provides food each day for every sparrow. And part of His daily manna this day, this hour, for this all-too-human human being is this verse:

Casting the whole of your care

…….[all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns,

………once and for all] on Him,

…..for

…….He cares for you affectionately and

……………..cares about you watchfully. (I Peter 5:7, AMPC) (emphasis added)

Lord, please keep reminding Your silly child that I am worth more than many sparrows and that You are watching over me, affectionately, every moment of every day!

 

Why do I need more gratitude??!!

DAILY LIFE, DEVOTIONALS, GRATITUDE, TRUSTING GOD

Frustrations of daily life. I stared out the car window at the intersection twenty feet away. The Texas sun glared off each windshield and every piece of chrome on the cars passing by. Although the air conditioner blew blessedly cool air on my face, I could mentally feel the already blistering heat. Ten forty-five. I had planned to be back home seated at the computer by now.

I had driven by this in-and-out vehicle inspection site, one a half miles from my home, earlier but had passed it by because of the long line. Then I had driven two miles to another shop that the internet said did inspections. However, a sign just above the bays where you drive your car in for an oil change said “Sorry, but we no longer do state vehicle inspections.” I had backed up in a corner in their little parking lot, out of the way and, trying not to be mad, looked up “car inspections near me.”

“Ug!  I hate the internet! I said, my voice loud in the car’s interior.  “Why is it so hard to look up anything anymore!”

The list of inspection sites on my phone showed a phone number and links to a website and directions but without clicking on the directions, there was no way to tell the address. The little map with pins on it did not have the streets labelled.

I could feel my breath getting shorter as the irritation rose. I could also feel a twinge of chest pain. That often happens lately when I start getting upset. I consider it my personal early warning system, an urgent message to calm down NOW and take things slower NOW.

(If you have chest pain, please see a doctor. I pay attention to chest pain but I can, with a fair degree of confidence, modify my behavior and wait for it to ease because I am under the care of a cardiologist who so advised me.)

So, trying to calm down I hit the directions button and followed the voice to the next site. I parked and walked to the door. Another “We no longer do vehicle inspections.” The thin skin over my elbow felt like it was roasting. Back in the car, one more sip of the iced water I carry with me all summer long, one more session with the phone, then one more site and one more sign.

“I give up.” I said and drove back to the original site close to my home.  Thankfully, there were only two cars in each of the two lanes ahead of me. I pulled in line and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, a man came to my window, took my payment, then said as he reached for the handle of the car door, “We’ll take it from here.”

This was one of the speedy inspection stations/speedy oil change places and it looked, from driving by, that you sat in the car while the car was inspected or the oil was changed.  I had come here because I did not want to go to a service shop where you had to sit and sometimes wait an hour. That was hard on my touchy hip.

Stifling another deep sigh—it was not this young man’s fault and I was sure he saw disgruntled faces all day long—I asked “Where am I supposed to wait?”  I realized that sounded sarcastic.

He gestured to two picnic benches resting, barely, in the shade of a little Mexican restaurant, then pointed at the crew of men paving the section of asphalt driveway next to the inspection building.

“They are paving our spot.”

Too upset to immediately hear the sarcasm in my words and apologize for sounding upset, as I normally would have done, I nonetheless was aware I needed to do something.

“Thank you,” I said with a softer tone and an attempt at a smile. “I appreciate it.”

Forgive me, Father. I am listening now. I walked the twenty feet to the two picnic tables, grateful that the corner of one bench was still in a three-foot wide strip of shade before the advancing sun removed that one last bit of shadowed coolness in the entire block. The air was filled with the tantalizing smell of cooking beef.

“Okay, I said, “I’ll start the book I brought with me on do-it-yourself physical therapy for your knees.” But when I looked in my purse, I realized I had left the little book in the car.

Once again, I sighed. “Okay, Father. I realize You are trying to tell me something. I am sorry for getting so upset. I will just sit here and listen for what You want to say.”

I looked again at the intersection next to the inspection site, at the hot glare, the cars whizzing by, going in four directions. People out and about, many of whom would not have the luxury of going back home and staying inside, out of the heat, for the rest of the day.

Route Crew Photo - Getty ImagesThen I looked at the construction crew. Two men were using huge push brooms to smooth out the fresh asphalt. They all had long sleeve shirts and long pants on, a phenomenon I had thought peculiar when I first came to Texas ten years ago from Florida. I had learned since that people wear long sleeves because the Texas sun is more vicious than the Florida sun which passes through softening, highly humid air.

“How hot are they?” I wondered. “And they do this kind of work all day and all year long.”

There was a loud repeated thudding as some machine, just out of my sight, pounded away, breaking up a new section of pavement to be worked on, I presumed.

“And they have to listen to loud machinery all day long, too.’

“Freda, you need to be more grateful and stop complaining! What a wimp you can be! You are acting just like the Israelites complaining about sweet tasting manna.

“Expect trials to multiply.”  Then I thought of the devotional by Charles H. Spurgeon God had brought to my attention through a friend earlier that morning. When I got home, fifteen minutes later, I pulled out my well-worn copy of “Beside Still Waters” and turned to page two. It began:

“God does not put heavy burdens on weak shoulders. God educates and tests our faith by trials that increase in proportion to our faith. God expects us to do adult work and to endure adult afflictions only after we have reached a mature status in Christ Jesus. Therefore, beloved, expect your trials to multiple as you proceed toward heaven.”

Spurgeon expounded on that theme, recalling that, in Abraham’s old age God had tested Abraham (Genesis 22:1).  Spurgeon warned “to never plan on a rest from trials this side of the grave.” He concluded by reminding us that we must stay in the fight and use our armor because we are in a war. We “must watch, pray and fight” and we must expect our “last battle to be the most difficult, for the enemy’s fiercest charge is reserved for the end of the day.”

Finally, deep understanding. This was a theme I had danced around in my solitary ponderings and in conversation with a friend who has also undergone a long string of troubles and trials, as I am sure you have also. But this time, on this pyretic morning in Texas, going about the routine of taking care of the ever-growing mound of small and trifling matters necessary to sustain life in our world, God gave the strength necessary to truly embrace this truth and accept it, rather than run from it as I had before.

Why I need to be more grateful. “Okay, Father. I see this clearly now. And I also see that You have all these last few months, with all these challenges, been equipping me with one of the best shields, that of developing a truly grateful heart.

You know when I first started consciously trying to be grateful, for the everyday little things right in front of me as well as for seemingly big things, it felt like just an exercise. I still had so much complaining going on inside at the same time I was saying ‘Thank You, Father, for this home, this furniture, all the food in my cabinets, the money that pays the bills, the dependable car I drive. . .’

But it has become more sincere and now I really mean it when I express my gratitude to You. You have renewed my heart.  Thank You, Father. I could not do it, no matter how hard I tried but You did.

And this is part of why You wrote Philippians 4:6-8 too, isn’t it, where You told us not to worry, to just ask You for what we need and to keep our minds fixed on good things.

 6 Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.

7 And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

8 For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

This thing about being grateful all day long is part of verse eight, part of the good things we are supposed to be thinking about, isn’t it Lord?

So, Father, I will think about good things today, I will think about all the wonderful things You are doing in my life and the lives of those I know and in this entire world. I will be grateful that I know You are all-powerful and also so very loving and merciful and that You help us in all our weaknesses and always will. I will strive to be more mindful of how great You are and how awesome it is that You take time to be involved in the details of my little life.  I will be grateful. for . .

 

When flaming arrows hit the mark

DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, ENCOURAGEMENT, HOPE, TRUSTING GOD

I wrote as fast as I could, straining to say each word out loud as I wrote, straining desperately to connect any way I could.

“I am so mad at You God! I am so sorry, but I really just am! (Tears, then a long pause). Why did You let this happen? Why? (Tears, then a longer pause.)  This is awful, just awful! No, no, no! I know this will turn out for good. You promise that in Romans 8:28. I know You are still in control of everything no matter what it feels like.

“Please help me, Lord! Oh, Father! How I need You, like the song says, how I need You now! I feel so torn up inside. I don’t know what to do. I just feel like giving up. I really do just want to give up. All this hurts too much.  I can’t handle it if life is going to be this way. I just can’t!”

When the writing is hard. Although I regularly write about details of my life because I hope to help others grow closer to God, sometimes the feelings are too raw. Sometimes I am ashamed and embarrassed about how I felt and what I did or said. Like now. What caused the desperate prayer above? Whenever we decide to go forward with something for God, our accuser (Revelations 12:10) tries to hinder us (I Thessalonians 2:18, Matthew 13:3-19).

A few weeks ago, I began praying for God to help as I redoubled efforts to improve my health. I have a lot of writing I want to do for God before I go home to heaven, and that requires a healthy body and mind, which requires exercise and good health habits.  The past nine months had included four hospitalizations for atrial fibrillation on top of long–standing debilitating fatigue and worsening feet, neck and hip problems.  Exercise and health in general had suffered.

So, I renewed my determination to lose those fifteen pounds the cardiologist says would help the heart. I got back onto a stricter diet, added in more exercise and stretching, prioritized getting more rest, etc. etc.  I felt good for two days. Then came the attacks. I strained a leg muscle, which meant I limped and could not exercise at all for a week and after that only with great caution. Then, although it had disappeared for decades, the itching and burning red skin of eczema reappeared, which required about fifty dollars of over-the-counter creams and lotions. Then, also after a long absence, came athlete’s foot which can make the soles of your feel like they are on fire at the same time they itch and which also required fifty or so dollars of creams, sprays and powders, not to mention the cost in time and effort and frustration. The achy feet, hips, neck and back quickly worsened with the near complete lack of exercise.

Then, my eyes began hurting as soon I began typing on the computer, and sitting at the desk for more than fifteen minutes meant aching hips, two more new negative things. Then on top of the panic that threatens all of us each time we pay a bill, buy anything or go to the grocery, the garbage disposal had to be replaced. All this in the midst of the genuine difficulties extreme summer heat imposes on us all.

Image result for public domain picture of womans hands prayingThrough all of that, by great outpourings of grace, I had kept a good attitude, telling myself, “Well, that’s one more thing to ignore and trust God to take care of because He loves me and He IS taking care of me.”

Then came the incident when the flaming arrows of our enemy attacked one of the most precious things in my life.

What were the reactions? I panicked. I fell apart inside. I felt fear, and I got furious, not just angry but furious. There seemed, and still seems, no way this precious, precious part of my life can ever be restored.

Then I prayed. “Oh, Lord! I know You tell us in Ephesians 4:26-27 in the AMPC that when we are angry we must not sin and we must not end the day being exasperated or furious or indignant because it gives the enemy a foothold in our life. Well, I feel all of that right now and more. So, I am trying to talk with You about this. As this awful day has gone on, Lord, I have started to feel as depressed as I did five years ago before You used Your Word to heal the depression. Everything in my life and everything about my life feels sad and pathetic again, my tiny home, my old used car, my overweight and aging and sagging body . . .”

Resisting at the onset. By grace, those thoughts did not linger long because the Word God had planted in my heart bubbled up into consciousness.

“Lord, you say in I Peter 5 that we are to resist the enemy when he first starts attacking us, so I will do that, with Your help. I will go about our normal life, just as if that had not happened. I will do my little stretches, eat dinner, have our quiet time and go to bed and tomorrow I’ll do our usual routine.  I will keep doing our normal life, trusting in You, staying close to You, until things feel better.”

And that’s what I did. I finished out the day the best I could which, unfortunately for the diet, included chocolate and some other comforting edibles. Then I went to bed.

Learning more about humility.  The next morning, I sorely wanted to stay in bed but as I fixed a cup of tea, John 16:33 came to mind.

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] (AMPC)

“Thank You, Lord. Help me know the truths in this verse deep in my heart. I do know they are true, though I still do not feel like it, and I choose to believe You. I know You do not want me to be unhappy, not even for one day, so I will keep trying.”

At the gym, verses I have recently meditated on and memorized about humility came to mind. After a wimpy workout, but a workout nonetheless, I walked back to the car.

“Lord, I do not know if I made a mistake and I do not know what I need to do differently now about this situation that has gone so wrong, but I will trust and obey. I ask You to guide me and show me what You want me to do. Help me to truly walk humbly with You, as You tell us in Micah 6, where You say that You require us “. . . to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy and to humble” ourself and walk humbly with You, our God.”

I drove home in silence, reflecting on that verse and the one about resisting the devil at the onset of his attacks. When I got home and read the whole passage that contains “resist the devil at his onset”,  I was reminded, from previous study times, that it begins with the admonition to act with humility toward each other because “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (Hebrews 5:5, NIV).

I also saw in my Bible where I had drawn arrows from one phrase to the next, indicating that because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble, that we are to humble ourselves before God so that we are in the position for Him to lift us up, in due time. We are also to cast all our worries, anxieties and concerns on God, to control ourselves, keep watching alertly for our enemy, and resist him at the onset because our fellow believers around the world are having the same kinds of sufferings we are having. And God will, after we have suffered a little while, restore us and make us strong, firm and steadfast. (I Peter 5:5-11).

By grace.  I lay down then, to take my usual hour of rest, pondering “I can do hard things like this, no matter how bad I feel. I have done many hard things by God’s grace, and this is no different.  The enemy wants me to think it is impossible to keep living my usual life with God while this heartache of a situation goes on, but I can do whatever I need to do through God because He gives me His strength (Philippians 4:13.) And that passage in Peter might be the scriptural basis for what I’ve heard Bible teachers say, that hard times give us the chance to really grow because we learn more when we stand strong in trials than in easier times.

As the afternoon went on, I felt I should take time to read more of the two books about prayer that lay on the table beside the rocker.  One book reminded me of the importance of spending time praying in the Spirit and how that helps when you do not know how to pray.

I took time right then to pray in tongues for a good while, feeling nothing, thinking nothing at first. Then, however, I sensed clear guidance from the Lord on some changes and additions I should make to my prayer life regarding this new painful situation.

“Father, thank You. I know by faith, that I will feel better soon. I am already feeling better, and thank You for bringing Psalm 86:17 to mind, for reminding me that when You help and comfort me, You are showing Your approval of me. I certainly do not deserve Your approval, Father, but I thank You that You earnestly remember and have imprinted on Your heart the fact that I am merely frail, human dust (Psalm 103:14). I still feel so helpless but I am hoping in You, with confidence and expectation.

Thank You that, though this might not be a serious thing to some people it is desperately serious and hard for me and I know You are busying Yourself with this detail of my life. I know Your eyes are on me and Your ears are open to my cries for help. I know You will never, no never, no never fail me or forsake me or relax Your grip on me. I know nothing, nothing, nothing is too hard for You. I know You are with me. I know You put my every tear in a bottle. I know You are with me wherever I go and that You keep careful watch over me. I know You will always help me. I know You will always guide every step I take as I keep trusting You and following You. I know You will keep guiding me. I know, Lord, that. . .

Dear friend and fellow pilgrim, I began writing this blog post to share how God can give us strength in the midst of what seems impossible, and that is still my purpose. However, as I wrote I realized I was able to get to a better place heart-wise, even though nothing at all has changed outwardly, because the Word I have studied and meditated upon and hidden inside my heart kept bubbling up into consciousness, in the very midst of roiling emotions.

So, again, I plead: take time, now, to diligently study the Word.  Take time, now, to meditate-on-the-Word-with-the-intent-to-memorize it (even if you do not actually memorize it perfectly) so that you can resist the enemy and keep living this beautiful abundant life God has prepared for you. If you need help getting started on Bible study and meditation, see “Diligent Bible Study” and “Diligent Meditation” on the “Basics of Believing” tab of this website.

In this world, we all will have great troubles, but Jesus has overcome the world and deprived it of power to harm us, so we can be of good cheer (John 16:33). We can “put on God’s complete armor, so that we will be “able to resist and stand our ground on the evil day [of danger] and, having done all [the crisis demands] to stand [firmly in our place] (Ephesians 6:13, AMPC).

Whatever crisis you face today, I sincerely pray God gives you grace to put on His full armor and to stand firmly in your place. God adores you, and He wants you to walk in His ways so that you can have peace and the abundant life His Son Jesus died to give you (John 10:10).

Blessings,
Freda

 

Bounteous blessings

ANXIETY, BIBLE STUDY, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, ENCOURAGEMENT, HOPE

 

“. . . and in His law he meditates. . . ” As I slowed for a red light, the rich resonant voice of David Cochran Heath said,

“Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. (psalm 1:1-2, NKJ)”

“Hmmm,” I pondered. “Psalm 1 is saying to mediate on the law of the Lord. Hmmm.”

I recently began listening to the Word while driving by using an audio copy of the Bible on my phone. I had been meditating, deliberately, purposefully, for many months now and this latest tool was a big help. I had been meditating on Scriptures addressing areas where I needed healing and maturity. “Meditating on the law” sounded different. Was I truly meditating on the law? Or was I missing something?  Following are some things I discovered as I sought to understand. First, I reminded myself of what God means by meditation.

What is meditation? To meditate is “to dwell on anything in thought; to contemplate; to study; to turn or revolve any subject in the mind.” (www.webstersdictionary1828.com). Synonyms include to ponder, muse, brood, concentrate, be lost in thought, think deeply and carefully upon–and my favorite—to chew the cud! Cows chew their cud up to eight hours a day, chewing each mouthful 40 to 60 times so the grass will be digested properly and absorbed by the body. The cow eats the grass and then, later chews it. We read the Word, and then, later, we think about it until it is digested.

Meditation on the Word changes us from the inside out. To meditate means to ponder and think about a verse or passage so long that it becomes part of you. Grass, properly chewed, becomes part of a cow. The Word, properly meditated upon or thoroughly chewed and swallowed, becomes part of who we are. The Word changes our innermost being. It renews our mind (Romans 12:1-2).

Meditation is NOT yoga. When we meditate, we do not repeat a mantra or try to make our mind blank. We are thinking about and talking with the God Who made heaven and earth, God Most High, and His Word to us. We are purposefully thinking about Him and what His words to us mean.

What is “God’s law”?  Simply stated, the law is a set of rules that regulate behavior. It also means, in the Biblical context “the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God” (Psalm 1:2a, AMPC). The entire Bible is “God’s law”, because it explains, either by direct statement or by illustrative story, how His laws work and how His believing children are to live this life.

How do you meditate on God’s law? One particularly productive lens to use in meditating is pondering cause and effect.  A thief may ponder the effect of getting caught and thereby control his impulse to steal. With our desperately wicked human heart (Jeremiah 17:9), we all need laws to help us avoid wrong behavior. We also need His laws to show us what is good – how to please God, to grow, and to deal rightly with others.  It is not enough, however, to hear the law once or twice. We must thoroughly understand how God’s laws work. That includes understanding cause and effect.

Pondering causes and effects — God’s laws. David is credited with writing many of the psalms. As he (and other psalmists) reflected on the history of God’s people, the consequences of their obediences and disobediences to God’s laws, David pondered cause and effect and thus received instruction in God’s laws.

David also found comfort in recalling God’s dealings with him personally. How often does David start a psalm by pouring out his troubles to God but then reminding himself of what God has done in the past and reassuring himself that God will again deliver him?  As we hear David release his emotions to God, then hear his thoughts about God’s awesome nature, His sovereignty, justice, tender mercies and loving kindness, David’s thoughts become our own. David’s words give voice to emotions we otherwise could not express.

The psalms are of great practical value. The psalms are, after all, one of the five wisdom books in the Bible. Psalms are routinely included in daily Bible reading plans.  Besides being a God-given aid to release emotions, they succinctly state God’s laws and instructions whereas the historical books and prophets use stories to illustrate God’s laws. Most of the New Testament also succinctly states God’s laws and instructions for living.

Learning to meditate, phrase by phrase. As I reflect on past experience, I see how God used my need for regular exercise at the gym to teach me how to meditate. When I first began diligently meditating, I kept copies of verses and passages on the kitchen counter and carried them with me on errands. However, it was at the gym that I really learned how to think deeply about the verses I read. That was where I began meditating-with-the-intent-to-memorize.

This happened accidentally because that span of 30 minutes using weights was devoted to meditating and the only way I could do that was to look at a phrase on my paper, try to hold it in my mind while doing a set of reps, then go back to look at my paper. I was essentially memorizing one phrase at a time. After I repeated a phrase two or three times to myself, while I did the rest of the reps on that particular machine, I would think about what the words meant.

So what did it look like? I would put the paper next to my water bottle on the floor in the corner, then read one phrase and repeat it over and over for two or three minutes while I used one weight machine. Then I’d walk over, read that phrase again or the next phrase, do another weight machine, reread the phrase and so on. By the end of a workout, I would have maybe two or three new verses almost memorized. And, in the process I would have deeply pondered the meaning of words in those verses as well as the links between cause and effect.

So, I began meditating by just trying to think about God’s Word but, by Divine happenstance my efforts at meditation turned into efforts to memorize the Word I was meditating upon. When I was doing things at home or out and about, it was harder to make myself spend that much time repeating one phrase enough times to have the same effect. 

In his priceless book “Gods Medicine Bottle,” Derek Prince relates how learning to diligently study and meditate on God’s Word healed his body when doctors could not.  Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland and many other Bible teachers stress the importance of studying and speaking the Word and having it always in our minds and on our lips.  Joyce Meyer in particular teaches how God’s Word can heal your soul.

Personal victory. Joyce Meyer says “Personal victory over personal problems come from personal time with God.”

It was not until I spent personal time with God, studying and meditating upon what His Word said about my personal problems, that I gained personal victory over depression and anxiety.  And He keeps showing me, week by week, new areas of truth upon which I need to meditate.

Bounteous blessings! The blessings of meditation are bounteous. Here are just a few. Meditation:

  • Heals our bodies (Proverbs 4:20-23, Psalm 103:2-3, Proverbs 3:5-8, Exodus 15:26)
  • Renews our minds (Romans 12:1-2, Ephesians 4:22-24, Colossians 2:2-3)
  • Helps us reverently fear God (Deuteronomy 6:2)
  • Helps us remember what He has done (Deuteronomy 6:12)
  • Leads us toward right standing with God (Deuteronomy 6:25)
  • Helps us teach God’s ways to our children (Deuteronomy 6:7 and 11:18-21)
  • Leads to long life (Deuteronomy 11:21)
  • Makes our way prosperous, enables us to deal wisely and have good success (Joshua 1:8)
  • Gives us a constant connection to the Living Water and makes us fruitful even in hard times (Psalm 1)
  • Makes us wise and gives us insight (Psalm 119:97), and
  • Keeps us in complete and constant peace. (Isaiah 26:3 and Philippians 4:4-8)

For a more detailed look into meditation, see the little booklet “Diligent Meditation” on the “Books and More” page of this website.

God will guide your efforts. God always responds to the heart sincerely reaching out to Him. And we can reach out with complete confidence when we are asking for something that we know He wants for us, such as guidance in studying and understanding His Word.  “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. (I John 5:14-15, NIV).

Your life is no doubt different from mine. You have different demands on your time and resources. But, regardless, I know beyond all doubt that when we ask God for help in understanding His Word better, He leads us clearly.  If you don’t already, won’t you start including meditation in your daily habits?

And though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself any more, but your eyes will constantly behold your Teacher.

And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.  (Isiah 30:20-21, AMPC)

 

 

 

God changes the world for you

ANXIETY, DAILY LIFE, ENCOURAGEMENT, HOPE, TRUSTING GOD

What’s your perspective today? When I returned home this morning, I glanced down the length of the sidewalk, turned splotchy gray from rain. Quarter-inch puddles stood here and there in the uneven spots, evidence of the passage of years or else of the impatience of the long-ago sidewalk crew. A patch of black dirt stood next to a single mud puddle that reflected the darkened sky. Not such a cheery scene. However, in the center of the six-by-six-foot patch of black dirt grew a sizeable tangle of some sort of shamrock green foliage. I always take a few moments to draw near this little patch of exuberant green to contemplate dew or rain drops winking like diamonds on the surface of the leaves.

How closely are you looking? As I stepped closer, I avoided three snails, each one using its miraculously-constructed “muscular foot” (I had to look that up!) to push against the sidewalk and propel itself along. When my grandsons were younger, I had, perforce, developed the habit of glancing at the ground for little treasures, like roly-poly bugs, lady bugs, bottlecaps, coins and anything else that attracted their curiosity and their magpie-like vision.

Looking closely at God’s handiwork is a good habit. It is obvious that those whom Holy Spirit used to write the Bible were keen observers of nature. I am grateful to God that He provides glimpses of nature even if we must live and work in an urban environment. How often have I heard the chirp of sparrows in bushes as I walked into my office building? How many times have I thrilled to see the sunset from the lofty elevation of an interstate as I drove home on winter evenings? And, in recent years, I have found deep beauty and peace in city parks. But you have to pay attention. You have to look closely to see things like diamond-speckled leaves, right outside your front door.

Beauty, wonder and peace. As I anticipate the next few weeks, which will include a repeat surgery and recovery, I am determined to focus on the countless good things God has provided, good things like knowledge and skill to physicians, bodies that generally work well (which is itself an unaccountable miracle when you think of how many moving parts we humans have!), food, shelter, family and friends, His Word, His powerful and sweet, sweet presence, a good church, and the way that carefully considering nature brings peace.

I wrote the following poem more than thirty years ago. I’ve lived in several homes since then. In each one, God always included a place where I could sit and drink in the sunset and sunrise, even though the view was often partially obstructed. Nonetheless, I sensed His special presence at sunrise and sunset and at any point in the day where I slowed down, observed His handiwork closely and gave Him thanks.

Won’t you take time, today, to slow down and stand in awe at the beauty with which God has lovingly surrounded you? Won’t you take time to be with God? He is waiting for you – eagerly, watchfully, joyfully.

“God changes the world for you”

God changes the world, twice, for you each day.
He dims the light
softens the sound
cools the air
and flames heaven with patterned colors,
all to delight your soul, calm your spirit, and give you rest.

As a tender parent, He blankets earth, and you, with soothing peace.

Stop. Still your hands. Let your Maker tell you of His love for you.

Pause in your rush to do. Listen.
He says “Be with Me” as He said to Adam and Eve in Eden.
Honor His love for you.
Pay attention.

Let Him show you how He turns green branches into inky black filigree.
Let Him delight your ear with birdsong and thrumming silence.
Let Him cool your skin with gentle whispers of wind that slide through the sheltering trees.

Breathe deeply. Take in the fragrances floating in cooler air.

Let Him give your body rest.
Simply stop. Open your heart and your eyes to your Maker.
And thank Him.

You will feel His presence.
You will know His love.

 

Light and joy are sown

ANXIETY, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, ENCOURAGEMENT, HARD TIMES, HOPE, TRUSTING GOD

11 Light is sown for the [uncompromisingly] righteous and strewn along their pathway, and joy for the upright in heart [the irrepressible joy which comes from consciousness of His favor and protection].

12 Rejoice in the Lord, you [consistently] righteous (upright and in right standing with God), and give thanks at the remembrance of His holiness.  (Psalm 97:11-12, AMPC)

Just doing the next thing. “Father, I do not know if this walk will do much good. It is so much less than what I did just a month ago. But the joints are so stiff I must do something.”

I walked slowly, taking care to stand fully upright, shoulders back, consciously using muscles that weeks without working out had weakened. The neighborhood street bordering my complex was lined with only one- and two-story apartments, so I had a full view of the sky overhead. From horizon to horizon, the inverted blue bowl of God’s heaven, dotted with whisps and puffs of cottony white, elicited a feeling of being covered, of being shielded, of being safe.  Vast as the sky is, it seemed close and comforting.

I glanced at the paper in my hand.

Light is sown. . . “Light is sown for the [uncompromisingly] righteous and strewn along their pathway. . . “

“You know, Lord, when I first memorized this a few months ago, I thought about it in the order in which it is written, that You plant light for us and scatter it along the path of our life. But, today, what I see is that there are two separate actions. You plant good things, like light, far down our path but that You also scatter light right where we are, because it takes time for planted things to bear fruit, so we need some of it now.

To strew means to scatter things on the surface, so Your scatter light we can get to easily, now, right on the surface. But You are always providing for our future so You have also planted light for us to use in the future. Perhaps that light takes time to grow and will be a stronger and brighter than what we find so easily today. Perhaps some of that planted light will grow into a tree. Maybe it will be a fruit tree or a shade tree, providing food for the hungry and rest for the weary.”

Resisting the enemy. Thoughts and sorrows started to push their way into consciousness—When will my family finally yield to Your love? How will I ever get back to health? How will I pay all the bills?

“No! I will not give in to these thoughts. Satan, get behind me! It is written if I am subject to God and I resist you and stand firm against you, you must flee (James 4:7). It is also written that I can do all things because Christ gives me strength, and that includes being vigilant about your attacks, and being firm in faith against you at the onset. God’s Word tells me that my fellow believers all over the world have the ‘same identical sufferings’ (I Peter 5:8-9). I am not being singled out with trials.

Lord, You said that while we are in the world we all have “troubles, trials, distress and frustration.” I will do what You said. I am setting my mind to be of good cheer. I will take courage and be confident, certain and undaunted!  I can do that because I believe what You said Lord, that You have overcome the world and You have deprived the world of power to harm me and have conquered it for me. (John 16:33, AMPC).

I will meditate on and delight in the things that are eternal, the unseen things, those things the enemy cannot touch. I will be grateful and thank You for all You have done. I will be thankful for the comfort of Your precious Holy Spirit, for knowing You have prepared a beautiful eternal home for me, and that while on earth I can abide in You and bear much good fruit for Your kingdom. And You reminded Your disciples, and me, of these things so that we may have “perfect peace and confidence.” That means complete peace and complete confidence, about everything.

Help me stay safe in You, Lord! Oh, help me stay in You, safe within You Who are my Rock, safe within the mental and spiritual fortress I create when I say I am taking refuge in You, when I put my trust in You, as Jeremiah did in Lamentations 3:19-33.  I remember, Lord, that verse 25 says You are good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for You, to those who seek You. Then the brackets after seek says “inquire of and for You and require You by right of necessity and on the authority of Your Word.”

My precious, precious Heavenly Father, my Faithful and Loving One, I do have need of Your power to overcome this habit of worry and fear that has returned. This is a real need, and I am trying my best and I have the authority of Your Word that reassures me You will give me strength to do this. I will resist these doubts and fears from the enemy at their onset. (I Peter 5:6-9). I will ponder on and speak of the great deeds You have done. I will remind myself of Your mercy and loving kindness toward all that You created. I will think on good things. . . “

As I told that young mom at the park yesterday, ‘You can have as much of God as you want’, Lord, I want all of you that I can absorb and more! Oh, deal with this worrisome flesh, these weaknesses, these tendencies to doubt and fear. Forgive me, Father! I know You are sovereign over all things, I know You are working all things together for Your good and for Your glory and You can only do good. I know that. Please help my heart absorb that truth yet again as I meditate on Your Word, Your precious, loving and living Word.”

Little trees. . .big trees. Along both sides of the street, at each driveway stood a pair of ten-foot-tall cedars. I knew these must have been planted 35 years ago when this area was military housing. Then they would have been no taller than a kindergartner. I know that because in the home where I lived from age 8 to 16, my father planted a pair of cedars bordering our driveway when we first moved in, and in a few more years, these should grow to about the same size.

“What children,” I pondered, “had played chase around these cedars 35 years ago, as my brothers and I had, while they waited for their father to come home from the base as we waited for our father to come home from the rock mine, dodging each other around the little trees, perilously close to the street, a fact about which our mother never worried in those days when kids played, unsupervised, for hours at a stretch, in those long ago days?

Had those children stood proudly beside their dad while he watered the little trees, coaxing them to grow even as he coaxed his children to grow. Had they wheedled him into a short game of catch before they all went in for supper?”

What a deep vein of memory that row of paired, more than mature cedar trees touched, that vein of memories etched into the bedrock of my heart by my father’s love and attention, night after night, homecoming after homecoming to his family.

Childhood. What a mystery! When in it, unaware of the sacrifices of those who love and nurture us, and unable to articulate what the warmth and security mean to us, we seldom express gratitude. Then it takes years before we understand and, far too often, the one who loved us so well is gone.

“But, Lord, I know Daddy understood. And thank You that I did thank him, many times, once I was older, before he passed away. And I know that the love he had for me was directly from You, that he was a channel for Your very own fierce fatherly love”

Help me be grateful, Lord! “Oh, Father! Help me be aware of what You do for me. Help me give You thanks and gratitude. Help me see what You do, like giving light and joy as this psalm says.  You gave given me a very good life, even to the present time, to my gray hair season, as you say in Isaiah 46:4.”

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (Isaiah 46:4, NIV).”

I reached into my pocket to read the next phrase of Psalm 97:11 but it was gone. I must have not tucked it far enough into the pocket of my hoodie. Turning around, I saw only leaves tumbling down the black asphalt. The wind must have already blown it away.

“Just like that,” I pondered, “We in America could lose our Bibles. Help me, Lord, get more Word hidden in my heart. Help me truly to treasure Your Word.”

In the pondering. As I walked, I pondered verse 11. That familiar rustling stirred inside, that treasured gift of having a thought not my own pop into awareness. How wonderful and how loving that God’s Word is actually alive and interacts with our innermost thoughts and feelings (Hebrews 4:12).  It is almost like God speaking to us with an audible voice.

So, I talked that verse over with God, in my heart, as I walked.

11 Light is sown for the [uncompromisingly] righteous and strewn along their pathway, and joy for the upright in heart [the irrepressible joy which comes from consciousness of His favor and protection]. (Psalm 97:11, AMPC)

“Lord, I know this verse means that You scatter light along my path, in unexpected places here and there, and that You also prepare light that I will need far into the future.  This verse says the same thing about joy – that You have put joy here and there in unexpected places and also prepared it for the future.  The verse says “along the pathway”, which means not just in one spot but all along the length of the path of my life.

Irrepressible joy. I continued thinking, aware that “The irrepressible joy which comes from awareness of His favor and protection” was an instruction, that it suggested being aware of God’s favor and His protection produces joy so intense it cannot be pushed down, not even by the enemy and his vicious attacks on God’s children.

“That is what I need, Lord! Joy!  You tell us over and over to rejoice, to cast our cares on You and do not worry.  And I know that “the joy of the Lord is my strength.”

I remembered that Ezra said this well-known verse when the people were weeping over their sins because they had just heard and understood the Law and their sins. Yet You told them to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles, and not to grieve. You said, right in the midst of their tears of repentance:

“Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet drink, and send portions to him for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.” (Nehemiah 8:10, AMPC)

A stronghold is a place that s fortified against attack. I know You have prepared a place of safety and a source of strength for me, and by Your grace I will look for it and run into it. Father, You know how little joy I have experienced lately but I trust You to help me find that which You have lovingly prepared, just for me. I know You say You busy yourself with our every step when our ways delight You. (Psalm 37:23).

“The trees of the field shall clap their hands.” (Isaiah 55:12). I hesitated before going back inside to resume the day, pausing, as usual, across the street from the three stately sycamores alongside the complex next to mine. Taller than the oaks beside them, their white trunks in stark contrast with the brown of the oaks, their almost bare branches rocked left and right, as smaller branches wobbled in the wind. In the topmost branches, the few remaining clusters of broad leaves fluttered against one another and crackled, a soothing whooshing sound.

“Lord, You have spoken with me, in so many ways, so many years. I remember that cold. February morning walking to work in 1985, occasionally glancing at an index card with John 3:6 written on it. When You first opened that scripture for me, You possibly put the identical thought into my mind that You had put into Nicodemus’s mind on that long ago night when he asked Jesus how to be born again. I know Jesus explained to him that the spiritual world is unseen, like the wind, but that the spiritual world reveals itself by the effects it has, just as the wind reveals itself by the effects, like sound, that it has.

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (John 3:8, NIV)

“Father, I cannot see You, but I know You are with me this moment by the peace I feel. And in these recent times when I could not feel Your peace, I know You were with me just as much. I do not know what You are doing to do, any more than I know which way the wind will blow, but I trust You, Father, I trust You with it all, with every care on my heart. And I know You already know each one.

So, on this February morning, 2023, as I watched the sycamores bear witness to the wind, I said in my heart:

“You are good and all that You do is good. I know You will help me. I know You have prepared light and joy for me, this day and far into my future. I know You will lead me in the path You want me to travel (Proverbs 3:5-6).

And I know You will give that “irrepressible joy that comes from awareness of Your favor and protection.”  By Your grace, I will think about You and the good that You do, I will mind heavenly things, I will cast my cares on You and rejoice and think on good things. Your Word never fails, Lord, and You promise peace if we keep our mind fixed on You.

Father, I know You are always with me, You will always help me, You will always give me Your joy and You are always in complete, sovereign control of my life. So, I will rejoice and again I say, I will choose to be joyful. . .”

And I continued with the rest of the day God had made, for me, and for you.

 

Compassed about with . . .

ANXIETY, DAILY LIFE, DEPRESSION, ENCOURAGEMENT, GRATITUDE, HOPE

For this [forgiveness] let everyone who is godly pray—pray to You in a time when You may be found; surely when the great waters [of trial] overflow, they shall not reach [the spirit in] him.” (Psalm 32:6, AMPC, emphasis added.)

“Great waters of trial”.  “Father, You said to cast all our cares on You, so that is what I am doing, Lord. thank You for highlighting I Peter 5:6-10 to me last week. Help me have an attitude that pleases You as I try to just talk with You about what is on my heart, as I cast my cares on You. Lord, oh, please let me not complain or murmur! Help me just talk with You, as I would a human friend.”

I rocked slowly, so as not to spill the mug of chamomile, and watched as the horizon separated into bands of cobalt blue and pigeon gray. I snugged my thin house sweater closer around my shoulders.

“Father, I am so sorry but I feel so alone. I know You are right here with me, and in me and all around me. I know You have everything in my life and in this world in Your complete control. I know You will work everything out for my good, that You have only good plans for me. I know You are always working with those I love and pray for.

I am so grateful for the surgery but Lord I am so tired of dealing with recovery and still feeling so bad, without enough energy to write or do things I did just a few months ago. And I am so, so tired of fighting negative feelings!

Thank You that I know we are to resist the enemy at the onset of his attack on us. I know that helps the negative feelings not get a grip. I confess I have given in to his onslaught so many times these past few months.  And I know that is why I feel so bad now. The stress of those emotions has accumulated. Even though I know better, I surely know better, I have fallen into an emotional pit. Again. My foot has been snared and I am not moving forward with You.”

On the horizon, the orange glow expanded from a thin line to a broad band then fingers reaching out and up. I did not want to start this day. I leaned over and stroked Lily’s soft fur, wishing I could just hug her tight. No, actually wishing I could be hugged by someone big and strong, wishing I could just cry on someone’s shoulder. A long time. Wishing I could hear a deep voice murmuring close to my ear, “Everything will be all right. I have you.”

Seasons of trials. This writing is a little slice of life, my life as a frail and flawed follower of Jesus. You likely know, as I do, that seasons of trials, those unending days, weeks, or months when situations test our endurance, come to all of us.  What are we, as followers of Jesus, to do?  Count it all joy and exercise our faith. That leads to perseverance. And perseverance—when its work is finished—leads to maturity. (James 1:1-4) Yes, but our flesh! Ah, our weak full-of-feeling flesh!! Praise God that He earnestly remembers the weaknesses of our flesh (Psalm 103) and He always, always, always makes a way of escape from the world, the flesh, and the devil. (I Corinthians 10:13; Philippians 4:19: Isaiah 41:10; and Isaiah 43:16). And that includes emotional pits and snares that halt our progress on the path of maturity.

So, because by grace I have personal experience with these truths, yesterday morning I kept talking to the Lord as I fixed oatmeal, dressed for the day and put a water bottle and book into my gym bag.

Setting my mind. “Lord, I am going to just keep trying. I don’t want to. I just want to turn off my mind and stay on the couch. But I am setting my mind to keep moving forward with faith, to go on with the usual activities of daily life, my daily life, this day. I know You are faithful and loving and kind and merciful. I know You will deliver me from this trial. I know You will restore me to the joy of being aware of Your presence. I will do the things I know to do, like being purposefully grateful for what is in my hands, thinking how to help others, praying for them, and meditating on Your Word as I walk through this day, this day which I know is a gift from You, a true loving gift.”

I picked up the three sheets of type-written Bible verses lying on the kitchen counter and read them over, once again. Yesterday, I had picked out three of my favorite verses about comfort and typed them all on one piece of paper, trying to keep them in mind all day long even though the dark cloud of emotions lingered still, like a cold, damp unwelcome fog.

“Let Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, be upon us in proportion to our waiting and hoping for You.” (Psalm 33:22, AMPC)

“The Lord is my strength and my impenetrable shield; my heart trusts, relies on and confidently leans on Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.” (Psalm 28:7, AMPC)

“Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts, relies on and confidently leans on the Lord shall be compassed about with mercy and with lovingkindness.” (Psalm 32:10, AMPC, emphasis added)

Compassed about. “Oh, Father!  Thank You for this promise! That is what I need right now and all day, to be totally surrounded by Your mercy and lovingkindness, in every area of my life, in every moment today. Compassed about means to be completely encircled 360 degrees. It means to be hidden in You, with mercy and lovingkindness forming a shield around me so that the enemy’s arrows cannot touch me. I am trusting in You, Lord, I am relying on you and I lean on You with confidence because You have never, no never, no never failed me in any regard! Please do cover me with mercy and lovingkindness today.”

I stepped out the door into sunshine, down the stairs, along the sidewalk and into the parking lot. As I turned the ignition, the upbeat music filled the car. “Oh, Lord have mercy, have mercy on me!”  I smiled, a tight little smile.

“Thank You, Father. That song playing at just this moment is a pat on the head from You. Thank You!”

I listened to the music as I drove, then made that sharp left onto Jones at the bottom of a hill, smiling as I remembered my youngest grandson singing out “Wheeee!” as we made that turn on our way to the gym. My two grandsons were well into elementary school now, no longer with me during the day. How I missed them! But, as was my habit, I thanked God for every day I had been with them, realizing my great fortune as a grandmother who lived close. I also thanked God that my years of office work were done, no more of that frantic pace of life, always struggling to carve out enough time for prayer and Bible study.

“The evidence of Your goodness . . .” As I drove onto the I-70 entrance ramp, I also thanked God, as I did so often, for all the years of His help raising my daughter. And, as always, love and concern for her and my now-expanded immediate family, surged up from the innermost depths. At just that moment, from the radio came “I see the evidence of your goodness all over my life, all over my life!” Tears immediately spilled over, ran down my cheeks and kept flowing.

Against the backdrop of that song, flowed a kaleidoscopic montage of treasured up and cherished memories,

  • Sharon carrying the Holly Hobby tote bag I made for her crayons and coloring books to use during evening church service (Thank You, Father, that I was saved when she was young so she could learn about You when she was little!);
  • the family with two girls her age at whose house we had attended Friday night Bible study when I was first converted (Thank You for those Christian friends who gave such spiritual and practical help!),
  • countless snapshots of her smiling, laughing face as we did life together—evenings, errands, shared daily routines, inventive special occasions (Thank You, Father, for the friend who advised to “get involved with whatever she does and let other things go.”
  • the anonymous benefactor who paid her tuition at a Christian school for seven years,
  • the two twenties we had found under a box on the closet shelf that time she needed new shoes,
  • the steady merit increases at the civil service job, the pension from which let me retire and relocate to Austin for my grandsons’ preschool years.

So we would know how much God love us. Interwoven with the repeating refrain of “The Evidence of Your Goodness” flowed another song God had so often sent when things were hard. Playing on a parallel track in my mind was “So You Would Know” by Al Hobbs.

“How many times must I prove how much I love you?
How many ways must My love for you I show?
How many times must I rescue you from trouble
for you to know just how much I love you?

Didn’t I wake you up this morning?
Weren’t you clothed in your right mind?
When you walked through that problem
didn’t I step right in on time?
When you got weak along life’s journey
didn’t My angel carry you?
So you would know just how much I love you.

How many days must I be a fence all around you?
How many nights must I wipe your tears away?
How many storms must I bring you safely through
for you to know just how much I love you?

Didn’t I put food on your table?
show up when your bills were due?
When the pains were racking your body
didn’t I send a healing down to you?
When you were lost in sin and sorrow
didn’t I die to set you free
so you would know just how much I love you?
. . . so you would know just how much I love you

 I saw a much younger me standing in worship services, hands raised, tears flowing as the choir sang “How many times must I prove how much I love you?” So many, many years of faithfulness, more than forty now and never once letting me down in any way. The scenes kept playing through my mind as I drove and listened and wept

“Thank You, Father, thank You for all those years, all those times! You took such good care of  our physical needs, on my secretary-level salary. You were such a good father to Sharon and a husband for me. And You still are, Father. Help me embrace this beautiful life You have given, in every detail!”

I sat in the gym parking lot a while before the tears stopped. As I worked out, I remembered having written a blog post (December 2, 2021) on “The Wisdom and Safety of Giving Thanks” And I pondered.

If anyone is truly wise—the lesson of Psalm 105-Psalm 107.  Psalm 105 commanded Israel to thank God, rely on Him, and remember “the wonders He has done.” Psalm 105:8 through Psalm 106:43 recount countless times God’s people complained, forgot to remember what He had done for them and rebelled against Him. Yet God delivered them over and over when they cried to Him in their troubles. Psalm 107 ends with “Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord.” (NIV)

Though I surely knew better, I had behaved just like Israel, and for how long now? Weeks? I had tried to be grateful but deep inside I had still been complaining – in the very face of Divine provision, just like the Israelites complaining about manna! Oh, how our desperately proud heart blinds us to faults we so easily see in others! Through those two songs and bringing Psalm 105-107 to mind, God had given me the same loving message three times in less than 30 minutes: “I have always provided for your every need and will continue because of how much I love you. You have nothing to fear, My child. I am with You this very moment.”

When my stubborn heart finally let go of self-pity, my ears finally heard what I needed to do and what would restore my soul to that blessed awareness of His presence that my complaining and doubt had hidden so many days. And what was that? Simply trust and obey.

Trust, really trust, and do good. Psalm 37:3 sums up the plan of action that, along with heart-deep gratitude, always gets me moving forward with God, even while still on “the dangerous heights of testing and trouble.” (Psalm 18:32-33)

“Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed.” (Psalm 37:3, AMPC)

Recalling God’s goodness and expressing my gratitude to Him always rekindles trust and confidence in the Lord and makes me want to be about the business of living my life for Him. That, in turn, gets my mind off of self and self’s problems and focused on God and others. In more than 40 years, God has never once failed to reward the simplest of such little acts of obedience. Why, oh why had I been unable to do those simple things? True, prolonged illness then surgery and recovery can weaken anyone’s mental, emotional, and spiritual strength but I knew better! God had trained me how to keep my mind safely on Him and to focus on Kingdom work.

Our loving, forgiving, and exceedingly compassionate Father. God taught much through this latest cycle of trials, falling down, and, by grace, getting up again.

[1] I learned to be less critical of myself because I had ample time during this dry spell to contemplate the fact that we each have our own personal weaknesses. Two of mine are worry and, ug, self-pity. I also pondered how forgiving God is and that He really means it when He says He “earnestly imprints on His heart that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14, AMPC)

[2] I also recalled that, while on earth, we will never attain perfection but are always to be pressing on toward maturity (Hebrews 6:1-3).

[3] And, God demonstrated, through my failings, why He said to “put no confidence in the flesh.”  It is a blessing to feel secure and confident that that you can, by grace, guard your heart and keep yourself spiritually and emotionally strong. However, I had, unknowingly, been depending on my ability to guard my thoughts as I reassured myself that I was doing everything God had led me to do. I was leaning on me, not trusting in God. What ugly pride! What danger!

God will let us have no other gods before Him and that includes the toxic idol of confidence in self effort. To the extent that we depend on our own actions to keep us peaceful and moving forward, we will inevitably fail and fall. God will deal with our pride. He loves us too much to let us carry that lit stick of dynamite around!

 One message of Psalm 32. As I ponder Psalm 32, I see the rich blessings of remaining in right standing with God. God instantly forgives when we openly confess our sins and iniquities to Him, including things we deceived ourselves about. If we do that, God keeps our spirit safe, even through great trials. God clearly teaches us how to live if we walk with Him willingly, and He completely encircles us with mercy and loving-kindness. Thus, in every aspect of our lives, His mercy and loving-kindness will be unmistakable.  We will truly be compassed about, completely encircled, with mercy and loving kindness.

“For this [forgiveness] let everyone who is godly pray—pray to You in a time when You may be found; surely when the great waters [of trial] overflow, they shall not reach [the spirit in] him.” (Psalm 32:6, AMPC, emphasis added)

“Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts, relies on and confidently leans on the Lord shall be compassed about with mercy and with lovingkindness.” (Psalm 32:10, AMPC, emphasis added)

“Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you [uncompromisingly] righteous [you who are upright and in right standing with Him]; shout for you, all you upright in heart! (Psalm 32:11 AMPC)