Category Archives: Humor

When people get sick . . . give happy a chance!

Image result for Royalty Free Picture of Quill PenNote from me to you: Because my family is now quarantining,  I decided to write something for my two grandsons. Imagine my surprise and delight when it just kept going and going. This poem is also available as a  ten-page printable book you can share with your own children or grandchildren.  The pictures print just fine, even if you use a black and white printer. To download your copy, see the Books and More tab on this website.

When People Get Sick . . . Give Happy a Chance!

There once was a time when folks just got sick.
Image result for Royalty Free Clip Art of Big FamilyOh, my gosh! Oh, my golly! Oh, golly! Oh – ickkk!
The Mamas, the Papas, littles ones, too,
the Mimis, the Nanas and Gran Papas – phew!!

Folks had to stay in, to stop all the germs.
I’d just as soon eat a big can of worms!!!!
Image result for Royalty Free Clip Art Of Bowl Of WormsThis staying in thing, this going nowhere,
is a pain in the rear, in the old derriere!

This staying home thing is such a big bore!
Why, it puts me to sleep! Why, it just makes me snore!!!
Why, I’m so tired of this house, that I could just scream,
I just want to go out! Do you know what I mean????

I want to see friends, and to run and to play!Image result for Royalty Free Picture of Kids Running And Playing
What I really just want is a plain old plain day.
I want all the usual, the cool daily stuff.
Yeah, one day of old usual would be good enough!

Yeah, all the old usual, the things I thought plain
are gone, and old “Boring” – he’s all that remains.

                                Old Boring
Image result for Royalty Free Clip Art of a TrapOld “Boring”, you say? Who is that old chap?
Why, the worst of the worst! A big old mean trap.

He’s the trap that could catch you and make you feel bad.
Why, if you are not careful He’ll make you feel sad!
He’ll tell you that good things are over, all done.
He’ll tell you you’ll never, no never have fun.Image result for royalty free clip art of pants on fire

But he’s a big liar! Don’t’ believe him! No way!
His pants are ON FIRE!!! Look! He’s running away!!
. . . because. . .
When you look with good eyes, when you look for the good,
You’ll see as you ought. You’ll see as you should.

                                So Many Good Things
Why, you’ll see that there’s still so many good things
Good ways to have fun, and the joy that joy brings. Rolling On Floor Laughing Clip Art Free
Why, you can laugh with your brother, your sister, your fish!
You can even cook up your best tasty dish!

Image result for royalty free clip art of child under a tree with a bookYou can sit in the grass in the shade of a tree.
And count puffy clouds! How happy you’ll be!
You can read the same books that you’ve read before,
and discover new things Yes! New things galore!
. . . because . . .
when you read a good book it makes your heart fly.
See the source image You’re free as a bird, without even a try.

                                    Good Books
Just relax and just read. Hear what the words say,
and the things they are saying will take you away.
You’ll go far away, to some wonderful places,
where people have joy and such smiles on their faces.

You’ll go to the stars, or maybe the moon,
and you’ll get there real fast, why, even by noon!
You may go by rocket, you may go by plane,
your may go the slow way by an old friendly train!Image result for royalty free clip graphics of a rocket to the moon

Your book, your good friend, will take you – it will,
to places you’ll love as you read and sit still.

Yes, sit still and just think of what the words say.
The words are like friends that just want to play,
friends just like Sally, old Fred or old Joe.
Good friends who play with you, who like you, you know?

Image result for Free Clip Art of Child Reading on CouchWith a nice couch to sit on, and a book in your hand,
you have such a good life! Oh my! It’s just grand!
And then staying home, will not be so bad.
You’ll think “What a good day! What a good day I had!”

Yes, if you’ll read a good book, or play some board games,
put together a puzzle, or make up fun names. . .
or create a fun house out of blankets and chairs,
why, Happy will find you, yes, quite unawares!Image result for Royalty Free Clip Art Children and Board Games

                                         Happy and You
Happy and you will find lots to do,
some things that are old, some things that are new.
And when you’re with Happy, all things are just fun,
and before you can know it, this day will be done.

You’ll tuck into bed, just Happy and you,
and you’ll have a good sleep, you both will, you two!
And then, why tomorrow, just guess who’ll be there,
Waiting and waiting with more fun to share.Image result for Royalty Free Clip Art Two Children In Bed

Yes, Happy will wait until you awake,
and then you’ll be off as quick as a shake.
Yes, off for more fun and funny things too,
for Happy will help you find new things to do.

And then staying home won’t be such a bore,
for Happy will always have fun things in store.

                                  How to Find Happy
So, “How?” you might ask, “Just how?” you might say,
“Can Happy stay with me, and play every day?”

Well, if you will just put your mind on good things, Image result for Royalty free Clip Art Two Children sitting Together
Why, Happy, old Happy, will make your heart sing!
Yes, Happy will come and sit beside you,
and play with you, friend, yes, all the day through.

So, just keep your mind fixed on things that are best
and let the old world take care of the rest.

You just decide, yes, make up your mind,Image result for Royalty Free Clip Art of thinking
that Happy is something you really can find.
Yes, look for things good Don’t look at things bad.
And you and Old Happy – you’ll both be real glad!

            Time to go, but remember this!

Well, my dear child, my best-est book friend,
It’s time for this story to come to an end.
But remember, dear one, don’t ever forget,
that happy is something you always can get.Image result for Royalty Free Clip Art of Hands Reaching for Smiley

But “How?” you might say, “Just how?” you might ask,
“Do I make myself happy? That’s a big and huge task.

Well . . .
You always can laugh, you always can smile,
You always can try, a little, a while. . .
then, Happy is there, down deep in your heart!

All you have to do is . . .
give Happy a startImage result for Royalty Free Clip Art of Happy Heart

When Nana (almost) Got Run Over By A Deer

Beautiful mornings. From the vantage point of the interstate, heading into the hill country east of Austin, morning mist lingers in gossamer pockets formed by gently rolling hills visible all the way to the horizon. Just before daybreak, darkness still Image result for royalty free picture of hills at sunriseobscures more than the growing light reveals, creating a sense of solitude. Five years ago, I drove into the hill country two mornings a week, sipping coffee from a go-mug, eagerly anticipating turning off the interstate onto a winding, unpaved road that ended at a house bordered on three sides by small pastures.

A bona fide city girl, with a life-long unsatisfied love of horses, I relished my part-time job doing light housekeeping for Rachel and caring for her two horses, this on the days I was not busy being Nana.

That morning, from her wheelchair by the big bay window Rachel looked out through the mist at the corral where a lone deer was grazing, and grazing on grass meant for the horses.

“Look at that deer!” Rachel harrumphed. “You just can’t get rid of ‘em!”

“You want me to go yell at them, Rachel?”

“Yes!”

I stopped stirring the oatmeal, ran through the side door into the garage and burst through the outer door like a one-woman SWAT Team, albeit not nearly as fast.

Inspired by hard-riding cowboys. You have to remember that I grew up in the sixties,Image result for free picture of john wayne when Westerns ruled prime time television. My brothers and I laid on the floor in front of the television, with Daddy in his recliner, and watched every weekly episode of “Rawhide”, “Bonanza”, “Maverick”, and “The Big Valley”, to name just a few. Western TV shows and western movies, especially ones starring John Wayne, were better than ice cream. So, I had often seen cowboys waving their lariats and yelling, “Yeehaw!”.  It had worked for those hard-riding cowboys as they headed off strays or turned a stampeded herd.

With great intensity, as I ran toward the deer, I now attempted to duplicate that motion, flapping my long arms wildly, and widely, in place of a lariat.

Not my wisest move. Well, several things happened. They happened fast, they happened in slow motion, and they have remained forever frozen in my mind. First, that lone deer that Rachel had seen in front of the house jumped straight up and high-tailed it, literally, toward the larger pasture to the right of the barn and corral. Image result for free picture of cattle stampedeSecond, in the same instant, both horses in that pasture also jumped but, thank the good and merciful Lord, did not bolt toward their fences. Now, the third thing is where things got interesting.

One of the sneaky deer who had been behind the house to the left, hidden from my view, munching on bushes next to the oak tree, leaped and soared within five feet of me on his way to the same pasture as the other one. Fourth, his or her companion, a bit slower by only a nose, ran behind me, this time within three feet of me. It was getting crowded, I guess, on the only pathway away from the obviously insane human.

Fifth, I stood still – for how long, I don’t know. As my racing heart slowed and my breath returned, I reflected on stories I had heard about encounters between vehicles and deer. I concluded that what I had just done was not the wisest move I had ever made.

Finally, still a bit shaky, I turned and went back inside, reflecting how often people had warned me about deer since I had moved to Texas. What would a full-steam ahead deer/human collision look like? Not so great for the human, I was sure.

Rachel and I got a good laugh, but I think about my close encounter when I see a deer or when I hear that song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Only now I don’t laugh quite so much!

Jesus laughs, ho ho all the way!

Image result for Free Clip Art Of Jingle Bells

(To the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

Living daily life, in this crazy world,

sometimes is so hard, that my heart grows weak!

but Jesus lives in me, and in His joy I’m strong,

so I say to you, my friend, come laugh and sing alo-ong!

Chorus: Jesus laughs, Jesus laughs, ho ho all the way!

Jesus loves to laugh and play, every single day!

Image result for free picture of sunrise through a window

 When the day starts out dark (A little pun there!) When I woke up this morning, the last thing I felt like doing was laughing. As I thought of the day ahead, and my life ahead, everything felt dim and discouraging. But, as I lay in bed, I repeated several basic passages about trusting God that I have memorized, by virtue of desperately reading them to my anxious heart over and over and over again.  Once out of bed, I sat in the rocker, stroked my cat, and read Psalm 71.

 

“I am feeling a little better,” I thought grudgingly. “Thank You, Lord. Please help me get my attitude right!”

I began texting a dear friend. I stated briefly that I felt discouraged and I intended to indulge my feelings by texting her about my troubles. But, lo and behold!!! I found myself texting that I was going to trust in God and thank Him for this day, keep my mind on Him rather than my problems, and look for ways to bless everyone He put into my path this day. I then texted another friend, who is walking a hard path right now, and that time I managed to only be encouraging and uplifting.

I listened to the bird perched in the tree by the window as the deep blue-black of night began fading to a softer blue. And I just sat and waited on Him, looking out the window at the miracle of a new day.

The Word changes our minds. “Wow, Lord! Thank You!”, I prayed. “All this time of pondering the comforting truths of Your Word really have renewed my mind. It really worked! You have done a deep work inside my heart, I know, because even though I feel discouraged on the surface, You are keeping my thoughts focused on the truth of Your Word and I am not sinking down into despair, like I used to do. You are guarding my heart and keeping me in constant peace as I keep my mind fixed on You! (Isaiah 26:3)

You have lifted me out of the pit, I have your reassurances that You are always with me and will never fail me, and somehow, You are teaching me to truly enjoy each day and to laugh with You, even when things are difficult.

Ho ho all the way! Then I was out and about, taking care of the business of my day, with my mind set to enjoy this day that the Lord had made and prepared especially for me. As I drove through morning traffic, I heard a good teaching on Psalm 71, the same psalm I had been reading earlier. Coincidence? No way! I know Jesus loves to reassure us that He is with us every moment, no matter what we feel like and no matter if we feel we have failed Him, I know He has a sense of humor, and I know He laughs with us –ho ho all the way!

Image result for Free Clip Art of A Sleigh With People and Bells

 

When Nana Almost Got Run Over by the Deer

Twenty miles outside Austin, just into the hill country, the morning mist lingers in gossamer pockets.  A retired Nana and bonafied city girl, with a life-long unsatisfied love of horses, I thoroughly enjoyed my part-time job doing light housekeeping, cooking for Sally and caring for her two horses

From her wheelchair by the big bay window Sally looked out through the huge bay windows at the corral where a single deer was grazing – on grass meant for the horses.

“Look at that deer!  You just can’t get rid of ‘em!”

“You want me to go yell at them, Sally?”

“Yes, would you , please.”

I stopped stirring the oatmeal, ran out the side door into the garage and burst through the outer door like a one-woman SWAT Team, albeit not nearly as fast.

You have to remember that I grew up in the sixties, when Westerns ruled prime time television.  My brothers and I laid on the floor, with Daddy in his recliner, and watched every weekly episode of “Rawhide”, “Bonanza”, “High Chapparal”, to name just a few.  Western movies, and especially ones starring John Wayne, were better than ice cream.

So, I had seen cowpokes and horse wranglers, waiving their lariats and yelling  “Yeehaw!   With great intensity, I attempted to duplicate that motion now, flapping my long arms in place of a lariat.

Well, several things happened all at once – and all in slow motion, to remain forever frozen in my mind. Since moving to Texas, I had often heard what effect deer had when they collided with a car.

First, that lone deer jumped straight up and high-tailed it, literally, toward the larger pasture to the right of the barn and corral.  Second, in the same instant, both horses also jumped  but, thank the good and merciful Lord, did not bolt.   Now, the third thing is where things got interesting.

Third, the deer who had been behind the house to the left, hidden from my view as he munched on the bushes next to the oak tree, leaped and soared within five feet of me on his way to the same pasture as the others.   Fourth, his or her companion, two short seconds  slower, ran behind me, this time within three feet.  It was getting crowded I guess on the only pathway away from the obviously insane human.

Fifth, I stood still – for how long, I don’t know, reflecting that what I had just done was not the wisest move I had ever made.  Sixth, a bit shakily I turned and went back inside, pondering what I knew happened when a deer and a car collided.  What would a full-steam ahead dear and human collision look like?  Not so great for the human, I was sure of that.

Sally and I got a good laugh, but I think about it every time I see a deer, which is often.  Next Christmas, I don’t think I’ll laugh so hard when I hear that song “Grandma got run over by the reindeer.”    Nana almost did!